Conversation Etiquettes and Person's Involvement with a Personal Problem

How many of you can go through a conversation with involvement. A close friend of mine wanted to talk to me and since we are in different offices we needed to meet at a common place. So we decided to take the same train on our way back home.

As we got talking she told me of a personal problem for which we worked out a viable solution. She was unsettled and worried but slowly she was normal as she saw a lot of possibilities before her.

As a close friend I shared a problem with her but I realized that she wasn't interested. She was indulged in her cell phone and I felt neglected. May be she was yet fighting her demons. I moved on to reading my book and slept for a while. When our destination arrived, we parted ways.

I realised that day that people are too lost in their own thoughts and problems to indulge in you, though I don't want to generalise.

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I have met only a couple of people who are interested in listening with concern. Such people are very rare and precious.

Many people are habituated to abruptly withdrawing from a conversation. They make you anxious especially if you are close to them. They wouldn't feel it necessary to excuse themselves, very often they will say that something urgent came up. There is no point in hurting and thinking about their behavior, rather I would talk to such people only when they are interested.

People really need to learn more about conversation etiquettes and I guess they are simple:-

• Listen first.... every thing else can wait
• Ask so that the other person knows you are interested
• Hold hands or put your hand on the shoulder so that you convey empathy
• Allow the person to speak completely
• Speak only if it's necessary or if asked.
• With friends, the laughter and fun is more but be serious where essential so that they feel you are there for them.
• Guide where necessary.
• Dominate the conversation where essential....keep quiet where necessary.

The best conversations are when you know the balance between being quiet and talking.

Sometimes just keeping quiet is the need of the hour....keep quiet and you will be perfectly understood

• Do not abruptly withdraw from a conversation, excuse yourself
• Give the person space and time to be herself when she speaks
• Try to understand the non verbal communication that goes with the words.
• Do not speak when angry, excuse yourself and move away
• Always return greetings

The art of conversation is easy and difficult because what is understood is more important than what is said.