It is the second time in two months that I have been fired from my job. The first time I was fired from Birling’s for causing a strike, we were getting 22 and 6 and we wanted at least 25 shillings a week. A couple of friends and I started a strike. It did not last for very long so nothing happened, but me and the other two girls who started the strike were fired. This time it is even worse because there is no real reason for me to be fired. It was all going so well until that rich bitch in the shop complaining about me to the manager just because I smiled at Jane, the other assistant in the shop, when the rich lady tried the dress on in front of the mirror.
It looked so bad that I had to smile at Jane and the rich lady saw me and started shouting at me about how I was so rude until she stormed off to the manager’s office to tell him what I had done. She must have made it sound a lot worse than it really was because the next thing I knew I was fired and out of a job, just for smiling. She does not care that I have got no job to go too. She does not know what it feels like to have no money and be unsure where the next meal is coming from.
Every thing was going so well between us but I knew it had to come to an end some time. But I was still shocked when Gerald came round before his business trips and told me it had to finish. I don’t blame him, we both knew from the beginning that it would not last for long. He made me happier than I have ever been before and he was so nice to me, letting me stay in his friend’s apartment for all that time. I remember when I first met him. I was in that dirty bar with all those sluts, just to make a little money. I had to do it. A big fat drunk came up to me and cornered me and started chatting me up.
I felt so uncomfortable, but I could leave. So I looked over to the bar and saw Gerald looking at me and I gave him a glance that made him come over and save me from him. He was so kind. He told him that the manager wanted to see him or something like that. He told me this was no place for a girl like me and he was right. He took me to a hotel that he said would be quiet at this time of night and we talked for some time. I had to tell him that my name was Daisy Renton and that I had lost both my parents and I originally came from just outside Brumley. I let slip that I was hungry and he bought me some food. He walk me home and we agreed to meat up the next day. I was so happy when he said that I could live in his friends house while he was on holiday.
I had saved some money over the summer from what he had given me. I did not want to take any more of his money because I think he has already been too nice to me, but he insisted that I had to take the money. It was almost enough to see me into the New Year. I feel I should leave Brumley after all this mess and be quiet to remember just how good I felt and make it last as long as possible.
I fill I’m at the end of my tether. My last resort was the charity and those rich snobs who run it have just turned me down. I made the mistake of calling myself Mrs birling when I first went there for the first time. That must have been the reason she turned me down. After she did not believe my first story about being deserted by my husband, I had to tell her the truth that I was down at the Palace bar when a young man came up to me and started talking to me. He was a bit squiffy, but he stood me a couple of drinks that I was grateful for and I got a bit drunk. I had to explain to him that I had had very little food that day and that was the reason I got drunk so easily.
He insisted on taking me back home and when we got to the front door he insisted on coming in otherwise he would turn nasty, so I had to let him in and we went to bed. I explained how the boy that got me pregnant was an irresponsible drunk and there was no chance of marrying him. I went on to tell her how he was giving me money and that one night when he was drunk he said something about him stealing the money from somewhere, so I could not accept it any more because I did not want to get him in any more trouble than he already was in. After I had told the people on the counsel the truth they still did not believe me so they turned my down. I have lost all hope now of being able to do anything with my life. I am pregnant with no home and nothing to offer my child and the world, so I will take my own life.