Can it be that I am a sex addict

When the longing for sex is great in one and small in the other, it becomes difficult in the relationship. Is there a standard of sexual desire?

I would be interested in the question of when one is considered "addicted to sex". I come to it because of my last relationship: My then boyfriend and I obviously had a different libido or a different desire for sex. At the time of our relationship, he was very busy and faced an important exam.

Due to the continuous stress, he often had no desire for sex or just did not think about it. On the other hand, I often felt like it compared to him. The longer our relationship went, the more frustrated I became. I tried to talk to him a few times, but it was very difficult for him. Most of the time I was the one who talked, he remained the passive, listening part who did not clearly formulate his opinion on the subject.

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At some point he dropped the term "sex addiction". This hurt me a lot and also bothers me in retrospect, although I am now in a relationship where my partner and I have very similar ideas about sex.

We sleep together regularly and talk very openly and honestly about the subject. I've never had such a good sex life. So what does it mean to be a sex addict? Are some parts of me really addicted to sex and have I just found a sex addicted partner with whom I can live my addiction? Or did my ex diagnose me as a sex addict - maybe because he could not satisfy me? where my partner and I have very similar ideas about sex. We sleep together regularly and talk very openly and honestly about the subject. I've never had such a good sex life. So what does it mean to be a sex addict? Are some parts of me really addicted to sex and have I just found a sex addicted partner with whom I can live my addiction? Or did my ex diagnose me as a sex addict - maybe because he could not satisfy me? where my partner and I have very similar ideas about sex. We sleep together regularly and talk very openly and honestly about the subject. I've never had such a good sex life. So what does it mean to be a sex addict? Are some parts of me really addicted to sex and have I just found a sex addicted partner with whom I can live my addiction? Or did my ex diagnose me as a sex addict - maybe because he could not satisfy me? with whom I can live my addiction? Or did my ex diagnose me as a sex addict - maybe because he could not satisfy me? with whom I can live my addiction? Or did my ex diagnose me as a sex addict - maybe because he could not satisfy me?

Nymphomaniac is someone who wants more sex than you do " - that's how sex researcher Alfred Kinsey has named the difficulty of establishing a standard of sexual desire. A definition is simply impossible. That does not mean that not a lot of people are still trying.

In the scientific and clinical field there are different positions on sexual addiction. Some people assume that such a thing exists. For them, it makes sense to apply similar criteria to sexual behavior as to substance-based addictions and other behavioral cravings. Again and again, clients sometimes report higher doses (stronger porn, more frequent masturbation, more frequent sexual encounters) in order to be able to discharge themselves sexually. They report that they masturbate urgently, but are emotionally never satisfied that their porn consumption over time and no longer controllable. Partnerships and jobs are lost.

These descriptions suggest the concept of addiction. However, others question this label and emphasize that sexual behavior is more complex and also different in terms of brain physiology, so that by no means simple parallels with classical addictions could be drawn. If someone is sexually active, this behavior may also be related to mental disorders, such as bipolar disorder . It may possibly be described more meaningfully as a compulsive act or as an expression of lack of impulse control. Some experts therefore suggest the broader concept of hypersexuality. But that brings us back to Kinsey and the unanswered question: when is too much?

Too much is ultimately when the affected person suffers and other areas of life are permanently affected by their focus on sexuality. But that still does not mean that it is an addiction. The other day, a man considered himself a sex addict, who claimed to masturbate twice a month, even though he was trying to control himself. He experienced a loss of control over his personal norm because he simply did not want to allow sexuality due to internalized prohibitions. However, people come to me whose life actually consists almost only of porn.

In my clinical work, I generally handle caution with diagnostic labels. However, I take the person and their suffering very seriously and inquire how they and their relatives describe and evaluate the behavior. Crucial is the degree of control that he or she experiences about their own sexual behavior, what function it has, who suffers most, which emotional needs are sexually charged. If it makes sense, we then look in parallel at how the behavior can be let go and how the person can deal with their states differently than before.

For couples, there are often small or large differences in sexual desire. Her ex-boyfriend could have said, "Your sexual desires overwhelm me, and I do not know how to handle it." Or: "I rarely want, you more often - what do we make of it?" Maybe he did not have the leeway for it. They were a deviant within the norm defined by him, he was fine. This reading does not seem to have benefited you as a couple.

I'll make it short and refer to the information from your cover letter: As I read, suffering in your new relationship currently no one, but the opposite is the case - both are erotic apparently blinding! A great stroke of luck that you best celebrate and promote. Look forward without worries to the current sexual fit with your loved one. Although: After such a wonderful thing you could become addicted!