Calling All Teachers: New University for Student Stress Reduction

Sick of students complaining about how much stress they are under and your job as a teacher turning into a personal therapist, well then you have found the right school to ship them off to.

This is the place to send your student if you just cannot handle them anymore. It will reduce student stress, so you don’t have to. Overall, it will make your job a whole lot easier.

It is called 24/7 University.

Only chronically ill students with irreversible stress are welcome.

24/7 University specializes in altering students lives in order to reduce suicides, mental illnesses, and overall negative impacts on health. Here, the students live, eat, and breath school.

How does this eliminate the school stress these students are suffering from?

It takes out the multiple different stressors within the students’ life and forces them to focus on the one stressor that should matter—school.

All you ever hear your students say is how they have no time afterschool to do the homework you assigned them, or you hear ridiculous excuses about some kind of condition their doctor diagnosed them with that hinders their abilities.

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These are only a few of the many guilt trip type comments you here on a daily basis.

At 24/7 University your job as a teacher will be to teach and help students academically. There is a zero-tolerance rule for therapy through your position. On site there will be academic therapists who are specialized to keep students focused and mind on one stressor. Students will learn to focus only on school which will make it less stressful for them.

By having school be all day, every day, there is no potential for a student to experience homework stress. There really will be no such thing as “homework”.

School work will be done during the school day, which is, again, all the time; therefore, all students will be held accountable for the same work and have enough time to finish it at the time given. No stressing about no time afterschool. Afterschool is not a thing. No stressing about deadlines. Deadlines are the same for everyone—by the end of the day—which will get done since they are learning, and school focused all 24 hours.

There are built in required study sessions in order to prevent anxiety over a test. Study sessions will be split up based on a student need basis. If some students are struggling more with the topic, they will be placed together so the teacher may go into more depth on each part of the subject in order to cover confusing parts. Students who understand the topic very well will be placed together so the teacher may answer specific questions on the subject.

This will also lead to a reduction in sleep deprivation since the students do not need to spend all night doing homework or studying. 24/7 University has rules which help with this too. The University has a set bedtime and no screen time of 9 pm for all students. They must be up and in class again at 7 am. This gives a 10-hour window for students to be able to fall sleep and, the next morning, get up and get ready while still getting the require 7-8 hours of sleep.

In order to prevent students from going completely insane since they will be occupied with learning 24 hours of every day, there will be an hour window every day dedicated to family time. This dedicated family time will be monitored by professionals in order to make sure the student does not experience any stress factors the family may bring onto them. Families are given limits to what they can talk about with their students to also prevent stress.

Another major stressor in students’ lives is getting into college. Learning all the time allows the student to focus on their grades and get the help they need to get into the college of their dreams. It prevents colleges from having to look at extracurriculars and volunteer service students have done since those will be no longer. College will be at an even playing field for every student. Since all students receive the same amount of help, learning, and stress, there will be no need to worry about whether they are good enough for college. Basically, college will be free to choose which ever one they dream to attend

Therefore, no added stress.

Teachers, can’t you see how beneficial this will be to the students suffering from such life-threatening health issues and to your job overall. Not only will these students experience less stress and live healthier lives, but your job will have a large stressor taken away. Everyone’s life will become much easier. The whole world will be a happier place.

Do yourself a favor, save your soul, save the student from going insane, and save their families from the medical bills. Send all students to 24/7 University.