“Far From The Madding Crowd” Blind Date Script. Graham: It’s Blind Date! And here is your host, Miss Cilla Black! Cilla: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Blind Date. In a moment we’ll be meeting the lucky lady who gets to pick from one of these gorgeous guys! So, let’s meet the boys! So, hello number 1; what’s your name and where do you come from? Bo: Good Evening, Cilla. My name is William Boldwood, and I am from Weatherbury. C: Nice to meet you, William. So tell everyone a bit about yourself. Bo: Well, Cilla, I am a 42 year old bachelor, I own a large farm, and…. I’m incredibly wealthy!
C: And, I understand, correct me if I’m wrong love, that you have had a nasty experience involving a Valentine’s card? Bo: That is correct, Cilla. I once received a Valentine’s card through in the mail, and I had no idea who the sender was. I was a little afraid, you see, it could have been anything. So, I erm, placed it on my mantelpiece. Well, then I couldn’t stop thinking of it, so I stared at it for quite some time. C: How long for, love? Bo: For a matter of days, Cilla. C: Oh dear. Well I for one am always scared when the postman comes, I mean, when them bills get posted through my door I know I’m too terrified to open them for a week!
C: Alright love, well, best of luck tonight, and please don’t be scared of the date cards if you’re picked ’cause we’ve only got so long, you know. Okay, number two, what’s your name and where do you come from? T: Hello, Cilla, my love, my name’s Frank Troy and I’m from Weatherbury too! C: Hiya Frank. Tell us all a bit about yourself, love. T: Well, I’m 31, I’m a Sergeant in the Army, so I travel a lot, and I enjoy sword fighting, so I spend a lot of my spare time practising that, and, I’m quite skilled if I may say so myself. C: Oh really? Come on, then. Show us some moves! (Troy shows off with sword techniques).
C: Wow, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that lot! Eh, thanks very much love, well done. Best of luck tonight, but if you win, leave the sword at home, won’t you? Hello number three, what’s your name and where do you come from? O: Eh Cilla, me name’s Gabriel Oak an I be from Weatherbury as well. C: Hiya, chuck, why don’t you tell everyone a bit about yourself? O: Well, I’m 28 an I work on a farm in Weatherbury, Cilla. C: And I heard that you used to own your own farm, is that right? O: Ay, that be correct, Cilla, I used to ave some lovely little sheepies, but, sadly, most of em died in a tragic accident.
C: Awwwwww… (Sympathy) O: Yer, so maybe, even though I don’t ave a lot, she’ll still be willing to ave me. Then I’ll know she be genuine an all that. An it could get me a few sympathy votes as well, But I wont let on until after the show, just in case. C: A man with a plan! Well, you probably wont even need to use the sheep story Gabriel, I’m sure you’ll be fine. And may the best fella win. Good luck to all of you. Now, guys and girls, lets meet the lucky lady who gets her pick of one of these gorgeous guys! (Bathsheba enters) C: Hello love, and you are Bathsheba, is that right?
B: Yes Cilla, that’s right. C: And where are you from, Bathsheba love? B: I’m from Weatherbury Cilla. C: Oh I didn’t see that one coming. Now, what sort of thing are you looking for, and hoping to find tonight in one of our top-class bachelors? B: Well, I’m looking for someone who will flatter me but also stand up to me. I’m very independent. C: Oh, that’s right, you own a farm, dont you? B: I do indeed, Cilla. C: Well, let’s hope those three blokes over there stand up to you more than your farm animals do. And lets hope they smell better an all. B: well I won’t know until the date, but lets hope so.
C: Alright love. Let’s get on with your three questions then. Fire away! B: Hello boys! ALL: Hello Bathsheba! B: Okay, my first question is; If I was an animal, I would be a tiger, because I could definitely use a little taming. If you were an animal, what would you be, and why? That goes to number 1, please. Bo: Well, Bathsheba, I would be a snake, a boa constrictor, so I would be able to wrap myself around you, and squeeze you as tight as I can. B: And to number 2, please. T: Well, I would be a fox, most obviously because of my red coat, but also because I hunt my prey and always get what I want.
B: And, lastly, to number 3, please. O: Well, I would probably be a sheep, because, apart from being cute n cuddly, I would follow you round as a sheep does and always be with you. B: Okay, 2nd question. If I were a type of food, I would be a curry, because I am hot and spicy! What food would you be, and why? That is to number 2, please. T: Well, I would be Egg and Soldiers, so you could have a dip in me anytime! B: And to number 3, please. O: Okay, if I was a food, I would be Shepherd’s Pie, because I be a shepherd, and I be warm, tasty and simple. So, heat me up, and it’ll be dinner for two.
B: And lastly, to number 1, please. Bo: If I was a sort of food, I would most certainly be Toad in the hole, because once you dig down to my deep centre and kiss the toad, I would be your handsome prince. B: And my last question is; I am a woman who likes to be pampered and showered with gifts. If you could give me one thing, what would it be and why? To number 3, please. O: Well, I don’t ave a lot, you see, but I would give you my heart of gold, because that be all I wantin in return. B: And to number 1, please. Bo: I would give you anything you want, anything your heart desires.
And the greatest gift any woman could wish for – ME! B: And last but not least, to number 2, please. T: I would give you the sheath to my prized possession, my sword, because then I would be allowed to put my things inside yours. C: Oh well, Bathsheba, that’s all your questions. But don’t make your mind up yet, here’s a bit of help from Our Graham! G: So Bathsheba, will it be Toady number 1, who will give you himself and squeeze you tightly, just don’t send him any mail! Or, will it be foxy number 2, who likes nothing better than putting on his Soldier coat and doing sword tricks – just keep the toast away from his yolk.
Or, will you decide on warm and simple number 3, and if on your date his sheepy antics get on your nerves, you could always sell that gold heart he gave you. THE DECISION – IS YOURS! C: So who will it be love – 1, 2 or 3? B: I’m going to have to go with number 3, Cilla. C: Oh, but what about the two you turned down? (introduces Troy, then Boldwood – they leave) C: So here is your Blind Date, you picked number one, that was Gabriel Oak from Weatherbury – come in Gabriel! (Gabriel and Bathsheba meet) C: Alright, are you pleased? (Both nod).
Okay then, let’s pick a date! Which one will be picking? O: I’ll let the lovely lady here pick. (Bathsheba picks) B: A sightseeing trip to London! (Hands envelope to Cilla) C: It says here that the two of you will be seeing all the sights of the Famous London! Have either of you been there before? (both say no). Good. Then after that, you’ll be shopping ’til you drop and then staying in a luxury hotel! It says here let’s hope that the two of you aren’t calling each other pigs by the end of the week! Okay, let’s have a round of applause for Bathsheba and Gabriel!