1. Reviewer question: What is the author’s thesis? The author’s thesis revolves around the different ways wherein Carl can maximize his roles and capabilities in the profession he is associated with. Under this process, it requires an active communication of responsibilities and at the same time carefully understanding the planning and implementation process of his objective. This then helps strengthen his department and allows him to grow at the same time. 2. Reviewer question: Is the thesis clearly stated? If not, how would you help the writer restate it?
Looking at the article, the thesis statement was not clearly stated within the introduction or beginning of the paper. Though the document was thorough in elaborating on ideas, the reader shall decipher relevant information in order for the main idea to be understood. If I was the writer, I would try to create one to two sentences wherein I will elaborate the central idea of my study and concern. Writer question: List the changes made based on this feedback. Also list those suggestions that were offered but that you did not make, and explain why you did not make the suggestions.
Reviewer question: Does the essay’s body stick to the main topic? If not, where does it digress, and how could the writer revise the paper to make it stay more on the main topic? The essay main body does stick to the contention made by the author in the introduction. Though it lacks a clearly stated thesis statement, the succeeding paragraphs offer the readers a clear view of what are the (1) background, (2) prevalent problems, (3) what needs to be done and (4) recommendations for the issue. On the other hand, the writer must take a look at the transition and coherence of the paper.
Sometimes there are different paragraphs that do not connect with the overall content and scope of the paper. Writer question: List the changes made based on this feedback. Also list those suggestions that were offered but that you did not make, and explain why you did not make the suggested changes. 4. Reviewer question: Does the paper contain any ambiguously-worded or confusing sentences? Please list them below and offer a suggested revision for each one you identify. The paper also contains several errors that need to be addressed. For example, the first sentence in the introduction seems confusing.
The use of the word analysis was phrased incorrectly to address the idea. In here, the word analyze should be used instead. At the same time, under the key problems, the last sentence must also be looked into. The use of the word issues does not coincide with the succeeding phrase in the sentence. Either the word is changed to singular or plural form depending on the writer’s preference. Writer question: List the changes made based on this feedback. Also list those suggestions that were offered but that you did not make, and explain why you did not make the suggested changes. 5.
Reviewer question: Which closing strategy did the writer use? Is the closing effective? Why or why not? Offer a revision suggestion for making the closing more effective. The strategy that the writer used revolves around providing a summary of what happened to the case of Carl. Analyzing this, it may prove to be effective on one point however this could have been changed to a more assumptive tone. This is because his case was already pointed out in the beginning and middle part of the paper. The readers already know what the consequences of his actions are and what it can provide to the company.
One way to reinforce this study is by outlining in the closing further strategies Carl can do to maximize his potential and responsibilities. At the same time, it can also include new approaches and methods that can justify his position and further his role in addressing the current trends. Writer question: List the changes made based on this feedback. Also list those suggestions that were offered but that you did not make, and explain why you did not make the suggested changes? 6. Reviewer question: Please give the writer feedback regarding the essay’s effect on you.
The essay was good in terms of providing information about the case and was able to outline the processes in a coherent manner. However, there needs to be changes in the way the thesis statement is presented, some grammatical considerations and the closing strategy. By trying to do these things, it can have further effect on readers because it can help them learn from the problems experienced by Carl and at the same time, understand the solutions and alternatives that are available in such conflict.
Likewise, the use of simple words did help the reader further decipher the information and content and helped that ca cater to further comprehension of the topic. In the end, the writer should seek to address the proposed changes to help further the ideas surrounding the issue. Writer question: List the changes made based on this feedback. Also list those that were offered but that you did not make, and explain why you did not make the suggested changes.
University/College: University of California
Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter
Date: 28 October 2016
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