Arranged Marriages Essay
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Love is a many splendored thing: well that’s what I’ve heard. Eyes meet, birds sing, hearts beat and the world turns upside down; unless you are in a arranged marriage. Only the parents are happy, and of course we want our parents to be happy but at whose expense? For centuries arranged marriages were a tradition and in some cultures they still are. There may be a good reason why arranged marriages are good for the people in the east.
However today, arranged marriages are still ongoing because it’s traditional, I don’t think that’s a good tradition.
I mean celebrating New Years Eve in Times Square New York is a good tradition. It’s a good tradition because I feel and know that no one ever gets hurt celebrating New Years Eve. Arranged marriages can hurt and deny a persons certain civil rights. There are plenty of cultures where there are no such things as civil or human rights but it still doesn’t make it right. Arranged marriages are a tradition from a past era, I believe that arranged marriages are a way of controlling people, especially women. Around the world there has been a custom or tradition of subjugating women.
Eastern cultures or religions believe that it is their right to make women 2nd class citizens. To me it means much more, like controlling a life. If you have the desire to control women and to control their lives start with the marriage. In the western societies they tend to frown upon that kind of control inflicted upon women. I’m sure that women tend to frown upon that as well, any control over anyone is frowned upon. There must be a certain lack of respect for both the bride and groom in arranged marriages, these marriage ideas might be old but who said that they’re a good idea?
Some traditions should be destroyed faster than a Scotsman can clean out a free bar at a wedding reception. Arranged marriages are one of those traditions. Romeo and Juliet is a classic example of why arranged marriages are outdated and ends in tragedy. Those times required most young women and men to enter into a relationship, that weren’t of their own choice, but their parents. You would not think that in today’s society that arranged marriages still existed, however the parents are still planning their children’s life; albeit, the children are adults.
The purpose of this is to maintain the wealth for both families. If the case was that a young girl was being made to marry a adult male, that is being labelled as paedophilia. Yet in India or in the east it is still ongoing and it doesn’t make a difference, here in England it’s a different story for that matter and is illegal. These children are brainwashed into believing that this is normal and that love or any other emotion is not their right but to blindly allow the wishes of their parents. We have not stepped forward in time but have fallen into biblical proportions.
That may have sounded too descriptive (biblical proportions), but we have to realize that in biblical times children were married off to other family members for the purpose of continuing their ancestors and that was thousands of years ago and yet it’s still happening in today’s society. One might consider that arranged marriages are more like a business deal than a true marriage, often with the engaged couple being used as pawns on a chess game. Marriage should not be only a business proposition.
Call me a hopeless romantic but I don’t believe that two people can be truly happy together unless it was themselves who saw valuable qualities in their partner, what is more is that it completely defies the law of nature. More importantly a marriage should be based on usual trust and affection, as well as common goals. Anything less than that and all you end up with is an emotionless, false union. Arranged marriages are a mockery or the true nature of marriage, a worthless document to be filed into our court systems. What is love?
That is said to be one of the hardest questions to be answered as many people don’t know what it is. In all truth I don’t think anyone knows the answer unless they are in love and even so it’s a unexplainable feeling that someone can’t describe to another. You can only know what it is when you are in it. In a arranged marriage I feel that you can’t find that love feeling between the two people in the relationship. As I said earlier we do want to make our parents happy and yes they’re the ones that know what’s best for us and only want us to make the right decisions.
But I don’t think they know or understand that even though they might think the man/women we’re going to marry may not be the right choice, we’re in love with them. Whatever love is. We care about them and at the time you know that you want to be with them for the rest of your life and most importantly they’re yours forever and you’re theirs. And it doesn’t matter what people say and if they disagree with your choice. Because you know what you want and that’s him/her. But this is not what you get in a arranged marriage.
In a arranged marriage I would imagine that the woman would feel somehow trapped, that’s how I’d feel if I was in the situation. I’d be so cooped up on trying to keep my parents happy and not being able to express how I felt to anyone and would feel as if it were my duty. “If more couples were matched up through class, education, family background, life goals and earnings” That’s quoted from a women called Aneela Rahman. She was on BBC’s 2 programme ‘Arrange Me a Marriage’. The programme was about finding a partner for each contestant she had, she had one month to match someone with another.
Traditions are one thing but outdated, irrational, new age slavery is another thing, I realize that whether you marry for love or not, it can either turn out good or bad, but there should be the opportunity of choice not mandatory rule. On the whole I am against arranged marriages. I think that it is not needed to please parents and not the actual bride and groom. If you want your children to get married and fall in love then let them do it in their own time. It’s not something that can be rushed into and found straight away or first time round. Love should be experienced and not just felt.