“Happily ever after” and “Till death do us part”, expressions such as these are losing their meaning due to increasing divorce rates. Close to one-half of all marriages are destined for divorce, which is the cause of 42 percent of children growing up in single parent homes. In every failed marriage or relationship, there are common causes for its failure. These causes will include lack of change in intimacy, test of endurance, as well as outside pressures, which could have just as great or a greater impact on the relationship.
Due to the fact that one person within the couple will have stronger feelings than the other, it may lead to the need for too much intimacy; once a partner does this, the other pushes away and divorce soon follows. Miscommunication is amongst the most common issues in a relationship that leads to divorce or the end of a relationship. Infidelity is another symptom of trouble, which is often the most popular last straw that leads to the end of a relationship or divorce. Roiohe asserts that many relationships suffer from others judgmental opinions which are another cause for strain. Concern and tension about money take each partner away from the other.
Obligations to demanding parents or still-depending parents or still-depended-upon parents create further strain. Couples today must also deal with all the cultural changes brought on in recent years by the women’s movement and the sexual revolution. The altering of roles and the shifting of responsibilities has been extremely trying for many marriages and relationships. ” (Roiphe pg. 552) Interracial relationships are continuously targeted by the public in a negative way.
For example my godmother began dating a white man, as early as the first month the received glares and facial expressions to display their disapproval. Actions such as these are common in relationships that are viewed as out of the norm such as same sex marriages and relationships. Same sex relationships have caused the most controversy over the past year or so with the legalization of its marriages. Overcome by the fear of losing our identities we tend to push away those who display too much affection.
To achieve a balance between separateness and closeness is one of the major psychological tasks of all human beings at every stage of life,” says Dr. Stuart Bartle, a psychiatrist at the New York University Medical Center. It has been proven that too much affection and intimacy causes the opposite of what is intended. In my own personal experiences, I have been a part of several relationships where the cause of its deterioration was overbearing love and affection. Without space and distance, there is no way possible one can understand the joy of missing a person.
In order to have a good relationship, in my opinion the couple must grow, while maintaining individuality. Understandably, this would come with complications. The trick is to maintain trust, in addition to, respect for one another’s personal growth. Infidelity has to be the most disgusting, despicable, unforgivable act that one in a relationship can do. “Dishonesty, hiding and cheating create walls between men and women. ” Being a product of such an act as well as experiencing this in my own relationship, I am and will forever be against it.
It is said that people make themselves believe that seeking another while still in a relationship will solve their problems. I believe that infidelity occurs because people, especially in today’s generation are unaware of the self-discipline it takes to develop and keep a strong relationship. There is a couple, friends of mine, whom started their relationship very young ; however, they understood the components needed to make it last. This couple is now in the beginning stages of marital bliss. “A man and a woman cannot follow every impulse, cannot allow themselves to stop growing or changing.
The sacrifices made on both parts are worthwhile compromises that will in turn repay with love and happiness. Many people, before they wed or delve into the bliss that is love, fall captive to this myth that once they have that everything will be perfect and they will become the center of their partner’s universe. This is soon proven to be false. Many problems reside in commitments, the most common being infidelity, miscommunication, and overbearing love. “Many marriages and relationships fall a part because either partner cannot imagine what the other wants or cannot communicate what he or she feels.
Anger builds until it erupts into a volcanic burst that buries the relationship in ash. ” The end of a relationship can be very beneficial, providing mutual happiness for both parties and a much needed burial for something that has clearly died. Surviving the challenges and obstacles within the relationship will make the bond between two people stronger, developing real love and intimacy. In order to survive in marriage or relationship flexibility, adaptability, genuine love and kindness and an imagination strong enough to feel what the other is feeling.
Courtney from Study Moose