Love is a crazy, strange, yet enticing game. Many think that they will never fall into its captivating lure; I am one of these people. If someone had told me back in April, when Aingeal and I were officially introduced that he would later become my Fiancée, I would have laughed at the mere thought. It’s quite funny how life works. We have had our share of problems but I never would have thought I would lose him so soon. Shortly before finishing the last of my college classes, the only thing keeping me from being a free woman was my Externship and graduation. It was happily a time once in my life where things finally seemed to go the way I planned. My very close circle of friends consisted of four people, my childhood friend Jen, my unofficial sister Tracy (who stayed at my house during senior year), and Aingeal who was a dear friend of Jen who also happened to be Tracy’s good friend. Every Thursday, from that first day back in April, when Aingeal and I were first introduced, till the end of the year, the four of us (Jen, Tracy, Aingeal, and I) would meet at Old Country Buffet after classes to sit and talk about all aspects of our lives. We became so close that the four of us could not part.
We adopted the funny name “The Pretty Eyes Club” simply because we all had pretty eyes; it was fun how we acted so exclusive. We also had a special place that even in the cold dark of winter we would could run to just to relax in this beautiful gazebo overlooking the town. I managed to obtain a job for him with me later in the year. Working together and having the same classes allowed the perfect opportunity for a very close and intimate friendship. As life continued on, Aingeal and I became much closer. Eternship and graduation were rapidly approaching and up until this point, I never looked at Aingeal as anything much more than just a friend. We were invited to a party for Graduation. He and I arrived at the party with different friends, however that night changed things completely. After the party, both of our dates scampered home. There was an after-hours party being thrown that we really wanted to go to.
The girl throwing the party was Sally. Her family was renting out a hotel room and they were known for throwing the most amazing parties; their room was our destination. There was a shuttle bus driving people from the party to Sally’s house. I recall Aingeal and me quietly sitting near each other taking random pictures of our friends and just talking about how the night was going. I was noticing a bond developing; it was scary but amazing how much we really had in common. Arriving at the party it was obvious that we both wanted absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but ourselves. We sat out on the porch just gazing at the stars. That nice night was the very first night that he kissed me. We acted as if nothing happened and simply considered it to be a one-time thing. There was an entire week gap between externship and graduation, I recall only one time that we talked about that kiss. “Are you upset with me?” I inquired very timidly, he knew precisely what I was speaking about.
“Not at all.” He responded with such a look that I am sure that I will never forget; a look that said “are you kidding me?” his eyes said everything, this was just the beginning. Graduation was next up on the list. It was a very exciting day and Aingeal was by my side the whole time. Things were really going well. There was a graduation party the following day. We were sure to bring tents and have them set up in the back yard. I bought a small tent and Aingeal came over a couple of times to get some practice setting it up. I will never forget the time we fell asleep in it behind the house in my backyard; my grandmother thought that we were insane. We had just left work, the tent was laying in my backseat and finally it was time to go to the party.
We pulled up to the house and the tantalizing smell of delicious food and the sound of music were coming from the backyard. Somehow, we both knew it was going to be a special night. We got the tent set up and just had a wonderful time. That special night our relationship took yet another turn for the better. Happily by the time morning rolled around we were slowly walking to my car holding hands. It was not until almost mid-month when we finally made the decision to officially go out, it was shortly after I returned back from my job interview. We spent the entire summer working fourteen-hour shifts at work, relaxing in the pools on our days off lying under the stars late at night, and watching movies whenever we wanted. Between you and me, Aingeal and I caused a riot to break out at a concert one time. We accidently knocked over the police, and lead thousands over barricades and through a stadium. We went to Dorney Park whenever we could, no matter how much I begged him he would still never go with me on a rollercoaster. Jen and Tracy were with us through it all.
It was such a wild time, an amazing warm summer with two of the most important beloved people in the whole world. That gazebo at our secret spot was the very place that Aingeal got the courage to kneel down on one knee and propose to me, the orange and pink sunset and the sweet smell of the flowers on the breeze forever locked this memory in my head where it never will be forgotten. Sadly, we all knew that the summer was going to end soon, and with that, we are all going our own way. I was going off to Atlantic City, Aingeal was thinking of going to upstate New York, Tracy was going to Peru, and Jen was going on vacation to Italy. We all slowly lost touch over that summer. I make it a point to talk to them all now more than ever. Sadly the last day of summer fun came. I picked up my last check from work and in the parking lot, we all said we love each other and then we said our goodbyes.
There were a lot of tears; I recall that as being the only time I ever saw Aingeal cry. I knew that there was no way I could comfort him which means, our entire relationship was about to completely change and we both knew it. I sat in the car and all I could do is cry. I cried for all the memories that made my life all the more livable, cried for the expected periods of separation that we would both experience, cried for so many things that day, but I mostly cried because I was leaving the only life that I had worked so hard for years to build. It just felt like it was all shattered to the ground in the course of one day. As I pulled out of that lot and looked in my rearview mirror one last time, I knew that he was indeed the man I loved. From that day forward, I would see him once every three months only if I was lucky to even get that.
Eventually our dreams hit hard with the all too painful hand of which we call reality. We realized we were seeing less of each other and living completely separate lives. It was not going to work at that time, and it killed me to admit it. We wound up breaking up after a perfect one-year relationship, with that went all of our dreams and hopes of a life together, and our dreams of raising our own family. We were already picking out names for our child: Isabella Maria Nurena. On the day we separated, I am sure we both lost a tender part of ourselves, something that no amount of time could ever heal. Now all that remains are the memories and dreams, dreams of the future and memories I wished for from my ideal past.
Courtney from Study Moose
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