This essay focuses on the issue of single parenting as one of the most effective family problems. A single parent is a parent who lives with one or more children without the second parent it could be either a dad or a mom. Usually the definition of single parenting depends on the local laws throughout different states, but there are other circumstances as well that could lead to single parenting, for example if a parent is left alone after getting divorced, if one of the parent just leaves the family or the child, if one of the parent is put to the jail or dies. Sometimes the single parent might not be the real father or mother of the child, some people decide to adopt a child or become a parent through implantation of babies or just take care of a family member child, who was abandoned by his real parents. The household of a single parent is very different from a normal household. But all the circumstances are distinctive, some Parents decide to become single parents if they see a relationship is not going well or if they see there might be a lot of family problems that might affect the child, and some have to do it if something happens like the loss of a the second parent.
There are a lot of negative effects about being a single parent. For example, making decisions can be really hard sometimes and most of the time parents need that second person there to be able to make the best decision that will benefit the child and the parent. Frequently single parents do not have sufficient time to do all the house work and this involves children from the early age in doing house jobs which takes time away from them to do school work or other things. Single parents have to tell most of house problems to a child which doesn’t not help the child, they have to discuss these problems like if the child was an adult. If the other parent is alive they have to make the arrangements to take the child either to the other parent’s house or to jail if the parent is in jail which is not good because the child will not have a stable home life and this will cause confusion. Single parenting starts with the divorce of a couple who have children, with the loss of a parent abandonment of a child or many other reasons. Most of the parents that become single parents are women.
Non-custodial fathers usually don’t have much connection with their children, and contribution usually declines as time goes by I have seen this a lot in my job since I work with children I have seen how some parents just forget about their children mostly the male parents forget about their kid and stops communicating with them . Since most single-parent households are females their income are less that of a man, this causes economic issues on the mother and the child has less opportunities on being involved in activities after school or sports. Economic limitations may limit growth improving experiences of a child. Even the children that their fathers pay their child support check that they’re obligated to pay monthly still see limitations on outside activities. But there are a lot of parents that do not pay their monthly child support checks to their children which makes it even harder for a single mother.
A lot of children strongly dislike divorces because having the most important people in your life live separated affects their lives greatly. For some children, divorce is not something that they will forget about quickly, but it’s something that will affect them for the rest of their lives. This is a traumatic experience for the child because it leaves them feeling alone, as if nobody in the world cares about them. I have experienced this a lot as well in my job. I have a lot of children that seek for my attention a lot, and I also have a lot of children that call me “dad” because they don’t have the male figure in their family. Single parenting affects each child differently depending on the child’s age which ranges in four stages; infants, young children, the elementary school age and teenagers. Infants and young children can feel abandoned by the decision of parents to get divorced. Most of them need to feel, hear, and see both parents in order to bond with their parents. This connection is important for the parent and child relationship later on in the child’s life “is the challenge for school age children, who are learning to make things use tools, and acquire skills for the adult life, children who fail these lessons of mastery and competence may come out of this stage feeling inadequate and inferior” (Erikson 1950).
Parenting is hard at this age because this young child requires a lot of love, and attention from the parents if a children fails in a situation like this it’s hard for the children to receive support since the parent barely has time for the child. Single parents don’t have time to give the appropriate amount of love and attention because they are forced to work and take care of the home responsibilities alone and the parent becomes very stressed since they worry about their children getting adequate attention. Family organization has changed has changed a lot in the last fifty years according to the research done. With higher percentages of marriage ending in divorce single parent families are growing quickly. “Seventy percent of all the children will spend all or part of their lives in a single-parent household” (Lindblad-Goldberg, M. 1989).
These studies show that the children of single parenting families are affected greatly in a negative way. Women head the majority of single- parent families and as a result, children experience many social problems from growing up without a father. Some of these problems include lack of financial support and various emotional problems by not having a father around, which may contribute to problems later in life. One of the problems that they might face are anger issues a lot of the male boys that I mentor have a lot of anger issues and I believe that the cause of these issues is the missing of the male figure which is a symbol of authority in the house. Today, most researchers state that both models were not quite correct and are still not correct now. During the years 1860-1920 the black immigrant families could not afford only one earner for the family and these ideals were appropriate only for white middle class families. By the year 1893 more and more women were taking up jobs and the number of divorces increased. “In 1950 – about 22% families had both working parents, in 1980 – the number increased to 42 %” (Morgan, K. 1993)
Since the year 1980 the divorce rates were twice as big as before. This means that about one-third of all children lived in single parent families or in adoptive families. The statistical studies at that time showed that 25 % of all families didn’t have children at all 25% of all families lived in couples 25% of families were headed by females 4 % of families were extended (Lindblad Goldberg, M.1989). We can come to a assumption that as well as the family principles were changing, the amount of single-parent families were changing too. If we were to count the number of single mothers in the difference to single fathers “the ratio is nine to one” ( Ceballo, R., & Borquez, J. 1994) that means that children in most cases are left with their mother instead of their fathers. In my job most of the times all I see are single young mothers instead of single fathers taking care of their children which prove this ratio. It is clear that mothers are regularly closer to their children and care more about their children, but there are some exceptions, but there are a lot of difficulties that single mothers have to face.
The problems of income are extremely difficult for single mothers headed households. All low earnings money families have economic problems, but in cases of single mother parenting women have to raise their children on top of these issues. Studies showed that “about 50 % of all households in poverty were female-headed. It is not only because of low wages that women get, but mostly because of the lack of another earners in the family, as a result there are cases when children start to work early in order to help their mothers” (Amato, P. R. 1993). This affects children a lot when they have to go and work at an early age it affects their studies and it prevents them from doing any extracurricular activity after school or participate in any sports team. These studies demonstrate that the wages of women from single female-headed households and from two-parent households are similar, but women from single female-headed households had to take additional hours or even work more than one job to support the family. There is often a problem of single mothers among teenagers. Young girls are left with their kids and their fathers just disappear.
Then there are a lot of problems connected not only with finance but many others as well.The financial situation is not that hard by African-American single mothers, as the percentage of their income to the whole income of the family was bigger, but they have little chance to receive any child support money or other state payments. About “25% of Spanish households in Los Angeles, California and Arizona were headed by women, about 17.3 % of Hispanic households also had a female head” (Morgan, K. 1993). To draw a conclusion to this part we should mention that the cases of female-headed households happen more often, the problems they face are lack of finances and the need to spend a lot more of time at work. Fathers make about 13% of single parents in the USA. Currently fathers are more used to take some female roles at home. They are more involved with their children and in house responsibilities. Before men were primary caregivers, only some of them had to raise their children alone due to the death of their wives.
As men typically have higher positions at work they have greater earnings as well, so they rarely face the same economic complications that single women do. On the other hand fathers do not always prosper in finding common language with their children and the results are that children raised by a single father are more likely to start using drugs or developing drinking habits, or start early sexual life since fathers are more flexible. Even though there is a common belief that fathers are stricter than mothers, they are often not able to converse with their children as well as the mothers can do it. Sometimes father are disciplined themselves or are not organized, it is not surprising if they cannot help their children to develop such qualities. I have been studying one of my children’s dad and the children has taken a lot of bad traits from his dad because the dad is not a great example he is not disciplined himself. A good father could be a good example for his son, and a good model of behavior.
A lot of single mothers have problems with their children at some time of their lives because they lack the strong influence of a man. The ratio of young fathers is lower in comparison with teenager girls who have kids. In the twentieth century the number of female-headed households enlarged significantly among Latino, Asian and Other race households. It’s a statement that single families are not the Americans. The number of single parent households increased greatly in England and in Australia during 1990s. “In the UK lone-parents families formed about 3.3% of all households, the percentage of them in Australia was even higher – 7.6%.Talking about other countries we should mention: Belgium – 1.8 – 2.7 % Ireland – 2.8 % Luxemburg – 2.2 % Japan – 5.1 %” (Borquez, J. 1994). In all countries most of single parents are women. Such countries as Greece, Portugal and Italy have more conformist opinions about family disputes even though they have a lower percentage of single parent families.
Raising a child alone without any help from a second parent is pretty hard and a stressful experience, single parents have to put in a lot of work in order to follow an organized schedule that helps the parent as well as the child. The parents depend on many factors and have more responsibilities for their children. Being a single parent does not mean that a person should separate themselves from the whole world and isolate themselves with their complications and problems. They should look for help provided by the government and any support that their family might provide. Single parents should never be embarrassed and they should never let their self-importance make complications for the support they can get from other people. If there is a lot of support from family members, friends or organizations it will be easier for the single parent to cope with all the problems.
There are numerous areas where single parents need solid support from their friends, Family, or organizations. Throughout this paper we discussed the effects of single parenting. The effects that a child faces and the effects that a parent faces as a single parent are difficult. Both the child and the parent go through tough situations and difficulties that affect their lives greatly. There are some positive outcomes that come out from single parenting but there are more negative outcomes than positive outcomes. I have seen all of the negative outcomes in my job, I have experienced all of these things and all most of them are true children that come from single parenting families tend to have a lot of difficulties and problems in their lives, but these problems could diminish with good mentorship, and good support from other family members.
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