Psychologist Erich Fromm clearly cites the ability of people to love amidst all things in his book entitled “The Art of Loving”. Written in 1956, it is an international bestseller that includes several theoretical principles when it comes to loving and how human personality is made. The book carefully relates loving skills to personality as it is both mysterious yet magical in the truest sense of the word. Loving is a skill that can be learned and developed at the same time.
However he disagrees with the fact that love is superficial or even with the idea of falling in love. It is one unique book that can make or break a person’s notion about love, loving and being loved. Human nature is to love and like others the way they meet them and get to know about their personality in the long run. People differs in terms of traits and looks that is why refuge is found when they meet someone who can accept them at their worst/best part (Fromm, 1956, p. 80).
Sentimental is not in the vocabulary of the author when it comes to love because for him it can be enhanced and can be enjoyed by anyone as long as their capacity to love is open and willing to give. Love is an achievement since it entails the capacity of a person to be humble, disciplined, faithful and courageous. Loving is risking into the game and giving the best shot in order to be happy. People are always starving for love.
Everyone attempted to gamble in the game of love but most of them end up loosing because they do not know how to practice and improve the right attitude in dealing with this four letter word. Love as in art is something that needs to be learned, practiced and mastered (Fromm, 1956, pp. 99-122). The book can be considered as a self help book for those who wanted further enhancement of personality including patience, responsible behavior, knowledge and respect. Human personalities are said to be inherited but it is also something that needs to work hard for.
Loving can be considered the best form of work. Though you exert effort, one will always end up smiling at the end of the day because you are doing things for someone you really care for. Human personality also includes self love. One will never understand the art of loving it he/she never knew how to love oneself. In the phrase I love you, “I” always comes first before “You” which means that taking responsibility of yourself first is needed before truly loving another person. It requires four basic elements to succeed: knowledge, respect, care and being responsible.
The four aforementioned elements is hard to define but can definitely make your love soar high. To summarize the book simply explains that love is more than a four letter word and it is not found through fidelity and commitment only. It should always include an open and honest attitude towards other people. Personality theories is given a deeper meaning in the book since it explores different love relationships like self love, love of God, motherly/fatherly love and erotic love (Fromm, 1956, pp. 15-55).
Love disintegration can also best describe the idea of the author to dwell with human personality and how it theoretically explains the meaning of love more than words can say. The book can easily explain the capacity of human to love not the magical way but the natural yet happy way with someone you really know, care, respect and show responsible behavior. Reference: Fromm, Erich. (1956). “The Art of Loving”. USA: : Harper Perennial Modern Classics.
Courtney from Study Moose