Motherhood has become a flash point for envy, resentment, and guilt because everyone struggles and envies what the other has. There seems to always be battle between working mothers and stay at home mothers, and the debate has always been controversial. Although there are many factors that differentiate children raised by a stay at home mother and a working mother, there is no right way on how to raise a child. The differences between both moms have both positive and negative characteristics but neither one can be said to be correct way on raising a right way does not exist.
Parenting by definition is the act or process of raising children. Single parenting on the other hand is exactly the same yet with only one parent her raising her child or children. Single parents can be into following categories: Solo parents as an outcome of: death solo parents-by-decision, resulting in: divorce; legal separation; church annulment; mutual decision to separate, with or legal agreement; being abandoned or left by spouse; decision to leave spouse.
Single-by-choice parents who: give birth to a child and choose not to marry; legally adopt own natural child or through adoption agency; choose to raise child or children or relatives.
This term paper is meant to prove that single mothers, though parenting alone, can still rise good, honest, self-disciplined, kind, hard-working people, one who is secure in his/her own being And that pressure imposed by society on these individuals does not have a great effect in nurturing of the child or even more soon the growth of the mother parenting alone.
Relationship between single mothers and their child/children Establishing a relationship with your child requires communication; this is the best key in helping a relationship grow between a single mother and her child, where both child and mother will find a center in their relationship and where problems can find a solution and where comprises about things can be made. It is important that each one needs and wants to listen to the other to help each other communicate clearly and not to assume that the child hears the quiet pronouncements, but to constantly let them fell the love and concern that one has for the child.
Negative Results of Working Mother
When mothers work full-time during their child’s pre-school years the child is less effective at A-level work. Children of full-time working mothers were found to only achieve at an A-level 52% of the time. These children also found themselves unemployed 9% more of the time as well suffering from psychological stress 28% more of the time compared to that of children with non-working mothers. If a mother work more hours the lower the child’s development and academic achievement. It is said that working mothers have a guilty conscience as they know that they prefer to work over taking care of their child. They live with guilty conscience as well with the stress of knowing they need to work in order to keep the family safe. The negative results that were found proved that pre-school children with working moms
had lower academic achievement and a harder time with language development, unemployment issues and psychological distress in their futures.
The control of children’s behavior by mothers reflects the increased involvement of traditional instrument qualities in the mothering role over the years. These traditional qualities include: domestic duties, meeting child’s physical needs, training of the child, performs moral education and disciplines the child. With this exercise of control on children’s behavior come in, a mother’s control requires the expression of assertiveness in making certain decisions about what control to use. Mothers are known to use certain kind of method of control, popularly known as love-oriented methods.
This technique focuses on positive methods bring about children who have developed a strong sense of responsibility for their behaviors and to have feelings of guilt and sorrow when they done something wrong. Because a mother’s role is usually confined to the caring of the child, a single mother’s control goes over this to that of involving a power-assertive method, a method frequently used by fathers when love oriented methods fail. This methods involves physical punishments and includes verbal behavior such yelling, making threats, and commanding the child. Whilst a love-oriented method of control used in raising a child brings about a sensitive child.
Social rearing of children
Social rearing of children include teaching them to learn right from wrong, teaching them to be the kind of people who enhance rather than diminish the quality of life in our society and passing on to them a sense of morality, values and social responsibility. Single mothers being the sole parent of the child brings in a negative light in trying to establish a support system for the child to base his/her moral values on, but this does not mean that the child will no longer grow up to be a “good” citizen of this society. To be able to give the child/children a sense of security in his/her values a single mother needs to double her efforts in relating with her child at the
same level. An example of this can be seen when she is disciplining her child/children, a single mother must be respectful and model the self-control, gentleness, and fairness she expects from her child/children. Showing the child/children how she respects other people and the way she treats other people, treats others as adults, how she treats and talks about others outside the family and how she leads her life is what is left etched in the child’s/children’s minds as they go on to grow up as adults. A mother can set herself as an example to her child as someone who managed to survive in a difficult world alone. Of all the factors that involve parenting, the good values instilled by a single mother on her child are the most important.
Financial problems are more or less the first problem that most one-parent families face. The single mother normally seen as the woman who works long hours at low wages struggling to support her family is the best thing to visualize, but there are different kinds of problems for different single mothers and some of them don’t even have this problem. There are many single mothers who are coping well their finances. There are fathers who willingly pay their child’s/children’s education and needs and mothers who are self-sufficient who are capable of making the ends meet. Some have well-paying professional jobs, while some do not. Because financial problems are given so much importance by society single mothers have been pushed to do better in regards to their income and they have.
Father, mother, and children. The picture of a perfect family. However, the number of households headed by single mothers has increased through the years. This is because many single parents believe that raising children on their own is preferable to living in a bad marriage that children are better off than if they spent their growing-up years hearing their mother and father exchange angry words, or worse, even hurt one another physically – that this would actually do more damage and have a more traumatic effect on their children. Ultimately, they feel that just because there’s a man in the house doesn’t mean that he’s a good father.
On the other hand, not all single mothers sprang out from failed marriages. There are some that are widowed, many teenage unwed mothers, and those who became single mothers by choice. Much controversy surrounds these women and is constantly being attacked by conservative families.
Being a parent is tough, or even more so when one is raising a child single-handedly. Single mothers elicit a lot of awes and are regarded as modern day heroes. These women face significant difficulties, not the least of which is financial hardship. Furthermore, the role of a single mother is daunting, demanding and frequently requires extra measures of patience, strength and faith. But then, these mothers also know the joy and thrill of success one can have when their children grow up to be well-balanced, stable, successful and happy individuals.
Not surprisingly, many people believe that kids raised by single mothers are destined for trouble has difficulty in school, emotional problems, drug and substance abuse. While these may be true for some, many single mothers will disagree. They believe that their children have even learned more valuable lessons in life. Much of the potential for success in single-parent households chiefly relies on the emotional stability and maturity, mental health and character of the parent and not on the number of parents present. Moreover, with enough love, support and guidance from the single mother, children can and will equally be successful as those raised with two parents.
Courtney from Study Moose
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