Is it here, can it be? Every morning, as the months pass, it stays around just a little bit longer. Until finally it stays for a short lived, well needed 3 beautiful months. Its summer time! It is my favorite season of the year. From the time I could say sunshine, up until this very day, summer time is my time of healing! Its what seems to get me through the entire year. It is the one thing that even through the years of growing up, and now with kids of my own, and college and jobs, I slow to cherish every moment of the most beautiful time of the year.
My days start with huge smiles from the vast rays of sun touching my face through the cracks in my blinds every morning. Just as the seasons change all year around, my life changes in many ways too. All through the years, so many things have become different. I now have two kids on my own, and currently in the middle of a divorce. I struggle as a single mother to fit in time for the fun things. I shuffle kids to daycare centers and to family that helps. I push myself through work and school, wishing summer time would just get here.
Each day that passes with the gloomy clouds that linger above and the rain that soaks my hair as I frantically make it from one deadline to another, I wonder, will I survive another day of the gloomy routine I have come to live. Once that sun comes out to stay, I find all the time in the world to be outside with the aroma of barbeque burgers and potato salad. My mouth waters as I sip cool ice tea while the kiddos splash in the cool crisp water in the kiddie pool.
The world has infinite possibilities when the sun sits high in the sky sharing its warmth with the world. No sound fills my heart with joy more than that of children running and laughing on a hot summer day. When the weekend comes during the summer, the roads become open possibilities to new destinations to take my boys and explore. Exploring the wide open wilderness has always been a passion for me growing up. I love it still to this day because I can share with my children all my experiences and the things I am passionate about.
I also want to instill in them my roots growing up, and what made me the strong woman that I am now. My children love to build little forts just as I did when I was a little girl. When I would find logs and tree branches to build my forts while exploring, it was like finding who you are and building the foundation of the person that you are to become. The quiet open wilderness gave me hours of sunshine and care free time to picture my life. I show my boys now how to build those same strong forts and encourage them to become strong men as well.
Getting my kids ready every day in the summer takes me back to when I would get ready in the summer time. I did not need to match nor did I have to have on proper fitting clothes, as long as the sun was shining and I was going to do something. There was no care in the world about the little insignificant things. I remember getting ready to go fishing with my dad, I would hardly have on my shoes and was running to the docks to catch the boat, as dad launched it for a day of adventure and summer time fun.
I take my boys to those same docks and that same man, now referred to as grandpa and set sail for a day of fishing. The joy and the love it brings to share those things with my children takes away any memory of the crazy reality waiting for me back at home. I stare over the endless waters, I let go for a while and soak up that summer sun that is tanning my skin. Changing my appearance and giving me a sense of complete relaxation, I clear my mind and tell myself I can do this. If only for my children, I will stay strong and make it through another few rainy, gloomy months.
I know that summer time will come again and we will survive another year of struggles as a single mom with two amazing strong boys. Like a big tall oak tree that stands in the forest, the seasons may make it look different and change its outer appearance, but still has its original roots that made it the solid tree it is. My life in its entirety is just like that oak tree. I may change along the way as the years pass, but ultimately I will raise my children to the best of my ability and instill in them the same strong roots to get them through anything in their lives.