When I think of life’s journey, I imagine a long road, a long grubby road that at times is surrounded by beautiful mountains and lakes, and at times is just layered through a hot dry desert. Sometimes, I just picture struggling people, as climbing up the mountains with their heavy bag packs. The abstract reality of life sometimes seem so vague as if whatever in front of me is just a reflection of another big reality.
Make A Dream was a very influential phase of my life. I was working for this private NGO as a volunteer when I found the true sour realities of life. Under this ngo we used t visit children hospital and meet innocent faces in childrens ward fighting from chronic diseases like cancer ,knowng they wuld die anytime soon. Still thse poor soules had a smile on their faces . onn each visit we used o interview ne child and ask him his biggest wis and all these kids used to wish fo were things like a mobile phome or tv or even small wrthless things like mangoes or color pencils, things which have becme commn neccesities for us. . A 6 year girl wished for a Red fairy dress and a 12 year old boy who could neither seak nor see wished for an mp3 to hear Surah Rahman and get good health. There wishes were so naïv We spend on luxurious and hundreds of children are waiing in that ward for their wishes t come true. Rayers good wishes self satisfaction.
Another significant phase of life was losing someone really dear to me. Watching my grandfather pass away was a sudden thing that changed my way of perceiving and looking at things. It happened two years ago. The death was not unexpected or came as a sudden surprise, but it just did not act the way I thought it would. I remember the phone call from the hospital regarding the news. I remember standing still and staring at those tears pouring down my eyes and getting hypnotized by those distraught cries. The feeling was so shadowy and I felt myself at incredible discomfort. My reaction was more of confusion than of shock. I was just standing there trying to realize what just happened.
Suddenly, amidst this whole catastrophic scenario, layers of pictures went across my mind. I stared at the door and pictured him coming back home after a busy hectic day at Sheikh Zayed hospital, where he served as a Dean of the hospital, and coming straight to me to share his day and in return asking about mine. I don’t remember a single wish that I uttered and he didn’t fulfill. He was more close to me than anyone else. I had always been one of the most obstinate kind of girls, who were unaware of how things work in the real world just because she had someone who would take care of anything she would want, need or even desire for.
It wasn’t many days after his death that I realized what did he mean to me and even to my whole family. I never before in life realized what does it mean to have someone to care about even your tiniest of things. He never made me feel how much he had been doing for me. Even during his last days when he was going through all the pain and operations, he did not let me have the slightest of ideas regarding his medical issues, so as not to get me worried. He did all he could do for me. When I think of it now, I realize that he always dealt secretly with all the situations that had the potential to offer me even the slightest of hardships or worries.
Have I had the slightest of issues, I would just let him know and free myself from all kinds of worries. But now, in any such crucial situations, it just feels as if I am climbing a cliff with a heavy load without that big support. I look back at those glittering memories I shared with him. On plenty of childhood occasions I would just run downstairs and wake him up in the middle of the nights and he would know already that I had a bad dream. He was one of the most successful and active doctors around and was also my source of inspiration. He was the one paving a successful path for me since the beginning and guiding me towards my, to be, career.
He even liked my designing skills and always encouraged me to dig deep into it. His death arose a sense of responsibility and hard work in me. I was no longer the carefree young kid I used to be. I started taking life more seriously. My aims and objectives became clearer. Even though I was blessed with a fully supportive family, his death left a big hole in my life which could not be filled by any other person and I am very sure my family felt the same way. I started thinking of myself as an independent being. Being the closest to him, I thought it was my responsibility to now fill this gap.
I wanted to live the way he did because each and every aspect of his life was truly inspirational. I starting believing in myself and taking my own decisions instead of relying on others. I just had a dream to achieve something and even I myself was confused as to what exactly. I wanted to make others proud and that for me was success.
It was after his death that I decided to launch my designers clothing brand.. I had a lot of planning but all of it was long term. At the age of twenty, all I could focus on was my degree. I was not ready to bare any risk but surety of success could never be guaranteed. I was skilled at art and designing and it was a God gifted talent. I wanted to channelize my interest into an achievement but I could not think of a right time. Something was stopping me, may be the fear of losing or my own insecurities. The day I started believing in myself, relinquished all the fears, risks and insecurities I could see myself coming close to my dreams. Just a few months back I actually started my own clothing brand named Sapphires. It was not planned but it was just destined to happen.
Today I am an entrepreneur and I consider myself lucky because I am one of the few people who get to pursue their interest. Even though Sapphires is just in its initial stages and there is still a long way to go, I still feel proud because for me this is something I dreamt off. I never thought it would happen so early and easily. Had my grandfather been here with me today, he would have been really pleased watching me successfully run ‘Sapphires’. Since the day I started there has been no looking back for me. Nothing has been able to demoralize me. I have done three exhibitions already and this is just the beginning. Although Sapphires happened out of no planning, it has carved a path for me to plan and accomplish a goal which is to position Sapphires to the Top. Every day I see it growing and it strengths my self-confidence.
Being born in the family where every one is a doctor, I was also forced to pursue medicine by all my family members. However, my grandfather did not let anyone control what I wanted to do. He appreciated my dreams and told me to do what I wanted to do and that is exactly why I ended up in LUMS pursuing my career in Accounting and finance and gladly owning a clothing initiative side by side.
Today, I try to follow all his given advices in every situation. Whenever I have to deal with anything I try to put myself into his shoes and figure out how he would have advised me to react to the given situation. His death taught me that life can take any turn drastically and we should never take our loved ones for granted. I feel that I have now become more mature, responsible and active person regarding all my work and activities. I believe that achieving success in life is the best thing I can offer to a man who played such a significant part in making me what I am right now. Start working for your dreams today because tomorrow never comes. Believe in yourself and don’t waste time planning and waiting. Just let go all your fears, and take everything positively. Only then you will grow and learn. Sometimes the downfalls in life teach you a lot. At times losing a loved one brings out the true person in you. Ups and downs are all part of life, what matters is how you rise after falling. Never lose hope because destiny might have something better planned for you.
Courtney from Study Moose
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