The moment we were asked by our professor on something that we strongly feel about, I already had thoughts and mix-ups on my mind. Honestly, I find this one a bit confusing to write. I mean, I’m not sure if my thoughts are likely good enough for me to write something with sense here. Anyway, I began this by thinking and feeling deeply. Yes, I mean this word: DEEPLY. I thought of what’s really bothering me, both mentally and emotionally. It’s like I was asking myself what’s that thing I do feel so strongly about. I thought of hundreds of things. Then I came up with this particular matter that I think occupies mostly my thoughts. I know it’s hilarious to hear this and it’s kinda weird because of the fact that there are millions of things as choices and I have concluded that this thing is about my “crush”. Isn’t it funny? I’m actually smiling while writing this one. I feel like I’m so childish and immature. But this is the truth and this time, I have to deal with it. I think I should just screen his name.
I’ll just keep it private here because it’s so awkward. I’m crazy about this boy. Hahaha! I daydream many things about him. I daydream of the way he smiles, the way he talks, the way he stares at something, and everything about him. I daydream about me and him together. I want to emphasize the word “DREAM” because I know it’s all impossible. Hahaha! I stalk on him, particularly on Facebook. I did a research about his name and backgrounds. Every time I see him, I’m whispering like “Boy, you got my heartbeat runnin’ away.” Seeing him can already make my day. Seeing him smile is really a great impact. It’s like vitamins to my heart.
Hahaha! He’s one of my inspirations. We’re not friends. I just know him and I guess, he doesn’t even know me. I feel hurt and insecure whenever I see him with other girls. I know it sounds funny because I don’t have the right to be. I’m just an ambitious loser: dreaming of something really impossible. I know lots of girls are also crushing on him. I don’t certainly know if what feeling is I’m feeling. If it’s love or just a mere infatuation. But one thing is for sure, it’s not obsession. I don’t care if I may sound defensive but I’m pretty sure it’s not. Feelings come and go. If this might lead for something worthy someday, I hope for this to stay. But if it’s never meant to be, then I also hope for this feeling to go away.