Being single in our society has become common and normal. For some people instead of having a destructive marriage, it is better to stay single. Today modern life is complicated already and it is hard to predict what could happen tomorrow. And maybe staying single could prevent certain issues, like separations and divorces that could lead to struggling and suffering for the whole family. However, single people possess parental feelings and a desire to have a child. And, if for some reason, a single man or a woman cannot have a child naturally, he or she should be allowed to adopt children even though in some countries, they are forbidden to adopt. First of all, for some single people it is impossible to become pregnant or to inseminate because of some physiological or health problems, such as sterility, chronic illnesses or obesity. Many women are cautious of getting pregnant because during pregnancy many problems could occur. These problems could put their lives and the lives of the infants in danger. For example, a woman could have miscarriages or a pre-mature or law-weighting baby.
Moreover gay and lesbian couples obviously cannot have their own children. The above reasons are obstacles for some desiring a child. But unable to do so does not mean not wanting to. Neither does it mean that such people lack knowledge Azizova-2 of what being a parent can be like. For example, Amy S., who could not have her own children but desperately desired them and adopted four- year- old Kate, says, “I wanted to be a mother more than anything else in the world; nothing else seemed as important.” Second of all, many people cannot commit in a relationship and do not want to get married. They want to be free and independent and not to burden themselves with “the wedding lock”. Moreover, certain people detest all men or women and do not want to have any contact with them because of some psychological reasons, for example because they were victims of sexual or physical abuse. That is why we have so many single people who, nevertheless, want to have a child and desire to have someone to take care of, to give their love to, and teach and share their life experience with.
Lee Vernon is an example of a woman who never wanted to get married because she was raped by her father when she was little, but who always dreamt of having children. She finally adopted two-year-old Mikle, a foundling from a Russian “detskiy dom” (a day care for abandoned children). “When I was holding Mike in my arms”, says Lee, “it was the happiest and the most significant moment in my life. I knew that it was going to change completely and I would be able to live fully and feel myself needed again.” We often judge single people unfairly and say that they are not going to be able to handle a child. But how do we know that a child in a two-parent family would come out at the end mentally and physically healthy? How do we know that a child raised by two parents would be happier then by being raised by a single parent? I think, single Azizova-3 people would take greater care of a child then anybody else. Being alone in this world, single people often want to devote their life to this child; they desire to spend all their time, energy and money on him/her.
Unable to reproduce, a person truly appreciates the rewards of raising an adapted child and does everything to make this child happy. Therefore, single people, like anybody else, deserve to have a child and should not be deprived of living life to its fullest and the opportunity of being happy and making someone else happy. It is true, however, that a child is not a toy or a pet that someone can just borrow, buy or have fun with. That a child cannot make decisions and choose parents does not mean s/he agrees with everything adults do with him; neither does it mean that someone has the right to make decisions for him. It is also true that allowing a single person to adopt a child places the child in an “incomplete” family from the beginning. However, the number of single people is increasing day by day.
And, at the same time, a great many abandoned children (currently in the U.S. there are over 110,000 parentless children), children of irresponsible parents, of drug addicts, of alcoholics are all over the world. These children need to be loved and cared for. Therefore, if a single person has a great sense of responsibility, really wants to have a child and is able to make him/her happy and raise him/her as a decent human being, he or she should be given this chance and be allowed to adopt children.
Courtney from Study Moose
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