There’s a significant event that happened when I was only four years old. I saw my adult cousin dead in the park that my sister, bother, and I used to play in. I’m sure the memory that I have of this devastating event is not 100% accurate for a number of reasons. One being, the fact that it happened so long ago my memory could’ve been tarnished by hearing different stories from different individuals who also witnessed this dreadful event. Another reason being, the fact that I’ve tried so hard to forget this incident but I’m sure I never will. The last reason being, it was dark and everything happened so fast with a lot of things going on at once. There were so many different emotions being displayed at that time and I was just too young to understand.
The affect that this event has had on my subjective well-being has been detrimental in some ways. I am unable to take my kids to a park which is very unfortunate because they deserve to experience the fun of swings, slides, and nature. I can’t get the image of his lifeless body lying there out of my head. It’s painful emotionally to even think about because although I was very young, I remember this older cousin who used to give my brother and me haircuts. This event caused me to lose out on some adult happiness affecting my subjective well-being as a whole.
This event has played a significant role on the continuous development of my personality in a few ways as well. I am very humorous which can be viewed as a defense mechanism or a way to defuse a heated situation and not face reality. Like the phrase “laugh to keep from crying”. It has also given me the personality trait of sympathy. I am extremely sympathetic to people who has experienced losses within their family. Additionally, I am very emotionally sensitive to the point that it is unusual for a grown man. This sensitivity is credited to the fact that there were so many emotions being expressed that night and it was transferred to me as a young boy as an answer of how to deal with painful situations.
There are positive and negative impacts involving my health caused by this event. This was far too stressful and dramatic for me to deal with at such a young age which caused a lot of negative impacts on my health. I have what people call “bad nerves” because of this situation. For example; I sometimes shake. I randomly have problems sleeping as I am subject to jump in my sleep or gasp for air. However, this event has had some positive impacts on my health when I think of the risks that I could’ve taken in that same neighborhood had I not seen the death of my older cousin. I could’ve made poor choices that would’ve got me hurt or caused me my life but because I had these images in my head constantly, I never wanted to end up like my cousin.