At any given time in life, we can be described as belonging to any number of categories or tribes based on the roles we value and the areas where we focus the most attention. A few of my personal tribes include: the tribe of creative expressionists, the tribe of college students, and lastly, the tribe of young adults longing to find their place in the world. The first tribe I describe myself as belonging to is the tribe of creative expressionists, which thrive in areas of self expression and creativity. “I draw because words are too unpredictable.
I draw because words are too limited” (Alexie 5). I sometimes find it difficult to express and understant the emotions I feel raging inside. In these moments, I enjoy experimenting with vibrant splashes of paint across a canvas or dark scrawling into a notebook to better understand or cope with these feeligns. I relish being able to question why things work the way that they do, and the freedom to add my personal insights into a situation in order to come up with creative solutions. Being boxed-in or pushed into ‘conventional’ methods of systematic processes is arduous and boring to me.
Instead, I enjoy being able to question why things work the way they do, and being able to add my own personal insights in a situation to help come up with creative solutions. In some ways, I am not always practical in the ways I approach a situation, preferring to rest upon something’s potential, rather than seeing the raw reality of what it actually is I am an idealist to the core, and sometimes find it difficult to let go of the ideals in my mind, in favor of compromising to reach a realistic solution. Another tribe I belong to is one of college students pursuing an education.
Oddly enough, after doing poorly my first semester in the fall of 2007, I had written off pursuing a degree. I studied under a couple of missionaries who were affiliated with Harvest Bible College, but never completed any official courses. Instead, my focus was on finding purpose and meaning in relationship with Christ and wrestling through what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus. After moving back home with my mom, and helping her enroll in courses, I began to feel the tug on my heart to consider going back myself.
With no clear idea of what degree I would even want to pursue, I kept putting off enrollment. Soon, my aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and began a downward spiral in the winter of 2010. At that time, I focused all my energy on prayer for my family, but also in researching natural science and asking important questions about how and why the body does what it does. I became engrossed with the nuances of human anatomy, disease, and the importance of understanding what we are feeding our bodies.
I am passionate about sharing my own journey of discovery with others along the way, and I believe have found something worth working towards for the future! As I am finishing up the last prerequisite courses, I am hoping to enter into the nursing program at Fort Scott Community College in Paola, this fall. Lastly, I belong to the tribe of young (some not-so-young) adults searching for a place of identity in the world. Where are my talents and passions most effective? Where am I most needed; in what areas of life do I find purpose and value?
Aren’t we all searching to find fulfillment and peace of mind? Personally, I believe that it is only after we have learned to let go of the reigns and to truly surrender our demand for control, that the Lord meets us with His perfect provisioning. In my life, a scripture that I have learned to find my identity in is written in Jeremiah, which says, ” For only I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me, and find me when you’ve sought with all your heart. I will be found by you! declares the Lord. ” A friend of mine recently admitted that it was with a heart of half-dread that she had prayerfully submitted to God’s heart for her life, whatever it looked like. She was afraid that in doing so, the Lord would uproot her four children and have them move to a far-away land to do missions. How amazed she was to find that His mission for her life was not in searching out far-away lands, but in reaching far-away hearts, right where He had placed her.
Even before she had asked, He had prepared the way for His hand to come forth in her life! She has found such purpose and contentment in life what a rich blessing! How amazing can our lives be, when we surrender our own ideas of what it must look like, and ask for His design. I believe He places dreams and desires within our hearts, that we will truly enjoy the work He puts before us, if only we are willing to wait for His perfect direction!