I found the article entitled “Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance” to be quite interesting. Most of us communicate with many people on a daily basis but the idea that we may be more compatible with others based on similar talking styles is something that I have never given any thought to. After reading this article and all of the facts that are contained within, I must say that it looks like people with similar talking styles are likely to get along better than those with different ones. “Researchers analyzed 40 conversations between speed daters, a recent focus of relationship researchers.
Opposite-sex pairs who talked using similar types and frequencies of function words were nearly four times as likely to express mutual interest in dating after the encounter as pairs whose speaking styles differed” (Bower, 2010). Psychologists Molly Ireland and James Pennebaker have also analyzed letters written between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud from 1906 to 1913, the poems and plays of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning from 1938 to 1961 and also the poems from Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes from 1944 until 1963.
In each of these cases, their talking style compatibility decreased when their relationships with one another took a turn for the worse. For instance, when Jung left Freud’s psychoanalytic group and when Plath and Hughe’s marriage fell apart,they were no longer able to communicate well with each other (Bower, 2010). Although there is a lot of research that has been done on this matter, I still have trouble believing that the way people talk can have an impact on their compatibility.
I can see where it would have a little impact on how well two people get along together, but I do not see how it can drastically effect whether or not people get along. I have many different types of friends from all walks of life and we do not all use the same types of words and I highly doubt that we all have similar talking styles. Yet, we all get along very well. Like I said, I am not saying that there is no truth to what this article states, it is just a tough concept for my mind to grasp.
I do not think that language styles alone are a good way to judge someone’s compatibility with another person. It is said that two people’s Language Style Matching or LSM number can be used to decipher the quality and length of a relationship, but I think that there are several other factors that have an effect and that the LSM number is not enough in itself (Online Research Consortium from Universities Around the World). I think that the results from the Language Style Matching website were very accuate.
I used an in-depth text conversation with my best friend of 7 years and our compatibility number was 0. 81. We get along very well and it was no surprise that we scored so highly. If anything, I would have thought our number would have been a little higher. We are very similar in so many different ways; including our intelligence, language usage, interests, sense of humor and compassion. I also used a text conversation between my boyfriend of 7 years and I. Our number was only 0. 5.
I think that this has to do with the fact that he and I are pretty much opposites in most areas. He is more mathematical and science-minded while I am better at writing, reading and language arts. I never hold important information back from him or hide what I am feeling and he usually does so. I generally use more advanced words than he does and am much better at spelling and grammar. We do enjoy doing certain things together, but we have different hobbies and interests.
I am a very loving and compassionate person while he can be a bit cold hearted at times. He has a very dark sense of humor while I find a lot of that offensive. Although I think it is accurate that we have a low LSM number, I do not think that means that we are not compatible or that we will not have a long-term relationship. In fact, I think that after being together for 7 years, we have proved that theory wrong. Although we are so very different in so many ways, we love each other completely and somehow work very well together.
Courtney from Study Moose
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