Thomas Ludwig states that men and woman choosing a mate do so with three factors in mind. These factors are common in most all cultures (Ludwig, 2010). These factors are proximity, similarity, physical attraction. In the world of dating and mating, standards have changed. When I was a young I had to wait till I was sixteen to even have a chaperoned date. Now day’s kids are going out on group dates starting at the age of thirteen or younger. Dating in the secular world has become a sport to many.
Some males use dating as a game to see how many women they can bed. You will also see girls advertising themselves by wearing skimpy and short clothing just to receive male attention. In today’s society it is also acceptable to use online dating sites and speed dating, because most people’s lives have become busier, so they feel this method of meeting a mate is more opportune. When using these means of finding a mate it becomes a vicious cycle. Society wants us to choose a mate on the outer qualities and if you don’t like it than, he or she can be easily replaced. I also see in the secular society that premarital sex is allowed and expected. A commitment to one person seems to be a thing of the past.
Christian Dating and Mating
Dating to Christians is about finding a lifelong mate. Many Christians who date meet at church or church related activities. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” So dating and mating as the Lord directs is the man pursuing the woman. God gives us instructions for finding a mate in Matthew 6:33 “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you.” God wants us to be equal yoked with our mate, so we must pray fully seek God when looking for a mate or acceptance of a mate that is pursuing us. We must seek a lifelong mate that we can share our heart with, and love in spite of their exterior, earnings, car or occupation.
I believe that a relationship between a man and a woman should be founded on a long friendship without a physical contact. When both male and female are seeking after God, He will open a door that no man can close (Revelation 3:8) for a beginning of a relationship. It is the male position to bring the female closer to God and the female position is to bring the male closer to God. You don’t have that in the world dating system (Tyndale, 2004). The Christian couples are not bound by the three factors proximity, similarity, and physical attraction.
Ludwig, T. E. (2010). Psych Sim 5: Dating and Mating. Lynchburg, VA. Tyndale. (2004). New Living Translation. Carol Stream: Tyndale Publishers.