I wouldn’t say I’m a negative person, but I found three things to banish from this world surprisingly easy. Room 101 is designed to house the things that you hate but perhaps others love. I could have put a long list of things in it such as marmite and the many mouthfuls I have later regretted making with this substance involved. But nothing gets me more annoyed than the following three things, and by the end I hope you can agree with me. Boxes of Chocolates
These sugar-filled boxes are deceptive, there are advertised as being a marvellous collection of all the best chocolates, but this is a false-facade. Collections like ‘Quality Street’ mix some good and some bad, so that you pay a fortune and only enjoy eating half of them. The rest you are forced to eat because it would make the price you previously paid unjust. Take the coconut-conundrum. Why companies feel the need to ruin a perfectly good pieces of chocolate with coconut remains a super mystery! It seems that they are box fillers, there simply to make up the numbers. They always seems to catch you out whilst browsing through a range of assorted chocolates, and once in your mouth you are left with no other option but to swallow it whole. Even after having eaten it, you are left with a lingering taste which is only quenchable by another wrapped-mystery.
The outside and the coating of all the range seem delicious and similar, yet the evil interior of the coconut-filled dairy-droplet only comes out after you have placed your trust in it. Even the more-popular brands such as Galaxy, never live up to the expectation of a full chocolate bar, because the taste of plastic and metal foil, which they have been in for years has infected them. Despite my objections to these mini-chocolate collections, the more-popular brands disappear in a heart-beat and you are left to scuffle over the not-so-good options. The names which they accompany, such as Celebrations, claim that these chocolate mix-ups are viable and perfect for all occasions, this is truly false. This statement has been hurled and insisted on me in every one of their advertisements, but despite that, I will never be able to buy into the myth of assorted chocolates and the wonders which lie inside them.
People love sand. They think its fun because it’s a little bit softer than normal ground, and apparently it looks delightful and feels delicate. This could not actually be further from the truth. Sand is clingy and irritating. People also love sea water. This salty mess is attractive due to its constantly moving waves and its unpredictability. However truthfully sea water is sticky and acidic. All over the world people have this obsession with the celebration of the meeting of sand and water, which to me seems an odd idea. We all know and realize that when we get wet and we go and lie or run near sand it sticks, and has ‘the sandpaper effect’; however it seems to me that the human-race hasn’t realized that the solution to this problem is in fact not going on a sandy beach. I have never been to a beach where the sand is actually as beautiful and pristine as it is on a Thomas Cook advert and this is not because I haven’t been dragged to enough by my beach-loving family, but because they don’t exist. To add to these television lies, in Thomas Cook adverts you don’t see the hours afterwards spent trying to de-sand every part of their lives.
It also never has the right consistency, it is either too hard so that tumbling feels like landing on sandpaper, with concrete underneath, or it is far too tiring or every foot-step drains some of your bored energy. It has devilish and unnatural characteristics which it has been handed only to annoy, aggravate and exasperate any inexperienced beach-travelers who have not taken precautionary measures such as sand shoes. The people, in the smelly kiosks which surround and encircle these beaches, are sweaty and unfriendly, and enforce a dampener on the fun you were trying to have beforehand. The winds which are symbolic of these places pick up sand and hurl it towards you like mini fighter-planes. Traditional Ice-cream Vans
I’m not being miserable, but surely they must annoy other people too – they are just so loud. Anyway, besides being horribly noisy and revolting, the ice cream they sell are overpriced and is unhealthy. These, apparently, beloved vans are in my opinion exactly the sort of thing that is making people fatter and lazier. The concept of selling sugary and fatty drinks and foods in places such as parks which celebrate the open-air seems so contradictory. These unattractive vehicles ruin and spoil any typical hot summer’s day, with their loud engines and smelly gases that add a negative and energy-sapping drone. The constant and never reducing queue leading up to the hatch, which is laden with advertisements from cheap and tasteless ice-creams, is, for me, one the world’s most unfriendly places.
The people who are confined to the inners of the horrid vans are grouchy and grumpy. It is not only the vans themselves and the concept which they uphold I would banish from this earth, but it is also the supposed ice-creams which they sell would no longer remain on the surface for the world. These publicly-loved confectionaries are an insult to anything which beholds the name ‘ice-cream’. The thousands of e-numbers which bury themselves deep into the bright colours of the ice-creams show the abuse for original and organic ice-cream. These chemical-laden snacks leave the consumer with an odd feeling in their stomach and bad feeling about themselves. For me the melted cream always seemed to melt down the side of a cardboard-like cone leaving you with sticky and sugary hands.
The cute clichéd story of the ice-cream selling van driving through a lovely picturesque village selling sugary snacks to all the sugar-crazy kids with some out-of-tune melody blaring out of the speakers seems like a nightmare and tragedy for this world. The little children who come running out of their homes to spend daddy’s money on sweets and candy advertised with enormous cheap smiles on their faces is something this world would benefit without. Now who have heard my three things which only reduce the ability and fortune of this world, I hope you can agree with me and find the light to send these things into the darkness of Room 101. Little Chocolates and Ice-cream vans are not world changers or things that have changed the course of history but are simple yet deadly irritating.