There are many different effects premarital sex can have on a person. The ones that hit someone the hardest are emotional. An example of this would be attachment to your sexual partner. This is one of the most predominant problems with sex before marriage.
Misleading feelings is another emotional effect of fornication. This often comes from confusion between sex and love. Sex outside of marriage turns the relationship upside down and mixes emotions to the point of misinterpreting feelings. When we mix sex and love, we confuse the concepts of giving and taking. Personal selfish reasons cause premarital sex to take, but sometimes the taking may be confused as giving. A girl gives in to have the security the boy provides, or maybe the popularity achieved in being his girlfriend. Many times young people are misled by these emotions and think they really are “in love.” ?The sex is so powerful that it creates a strong emotional bond often when there is little in common and little basis for a lasting relationship?(tant 3). Those mixed up feelings are destructive in a dating relationship and can have tragic consequences if the relationship progresses to marriage. God’s plan protects us from the devastating effects those confused emotions bring.
Sex does not constitute love. As Christians, we are to develop agape love, the kind God has for us that gives with no expectation of getting something in return.. Love is primarily an act of the will, but has tremendous emotional overtones because it has to do with how we relate to people. Our actions of love are tied to our emotions because relationships naturally have emotional bonds. Likewise sex has a powerful emotional aspect because God meant for it to be a joining of soul and mind as well as a physical union. That involves the moral conscience which can inflict pain after the physical pleasure is gone, unless the two have become one in marriage. Marital sex is a model of God’s provision to draw us closer to one another and to him. The hardship of breaking off the relationship is another consequence.
The pain that comes when one breaks up with a sexual partner is often an emotionally terrible tearing apart. Even when a couple realizes that fornication is sinful, they may try to find ways to justify the relationship because of the emotional bond formed between them. Sex forms a bond that exists when the rest of the relationship is bad. We see evidence of that when a girl stays with a partner who physically abuses her, and who often treats her like dirt. Some try to justify sexual experience before marriage as profitable to see if the two are compatible, but studies show a greater incidence of divorce among couples who are sexually active before marriage. Often these first experiences are not pleasurable and leave greater emotional scars that must be dealt with in marriage. Emotional damage almost always comes as a result of fornication and adultery. There has been a great increase in teenage suicide in recent years as sexual promiscuity has increased, along with increased pregnancy, abortion and STDs. Certainly this unrestrained life-style is one factor of the high suicide rate.
Unequal levels of commitment is an effect that is nearly always present in premarital sex and can bring emotional devastation. Especially for girls and women, the sex act has a psychologically binding effect. Sex increases the feeling of closeness to the partner. When this is not shared, one partner is always vulnerable to rejection. “What if I don’t please him any longer?” If the boy is not as committed, the girl may feel she is merely being used by the guy to fulfill his physical lust. God’s design for marriage brings protection against emotional suffering and builds self esteem as we realize we are unique creatures made in the image of our Creator. The sexual bonding as he created it in marriage is for our good. A young person who uses self control to say no to sex outside of marriage is building discipline and security into future relationships, because waiting gives your mind and body time to mature. If we do not learn to develop self-control before marriage, it makes it easier for a lack of self-control to lead to extra-marital affairs after marriage. Various studies have confirmed this fact.
There is the involuntary comparison of sex partners. This is very harmful to both partners as they deal with mental flashbacks of earlier sexual encounters. These can be frustrating, disturbing, and destructive to a couple who later desire to experience God’s plan for true intimacy and love in their marriage. Minds are like computers, as all information is stored there. Intimate sexual encounters which involve senses of sight, sound, and touch are not easily erased. Memories are called to mind by association. Something from within us (thoughts, feelings, actions) or from without (through our five senses) remind us of something similar from the past.
If these earlier experiences involve hurt, pain, mistrust, exploitation, or guilt, then permanent scars are left which carry over into marriage. This is one reason rape and incest are so devastating in people’s lives. The most important sex organ God gave us is the mind. When two people learn about sex together for the first time within marriage, they are creating vivid and unforgettable memories. These are positive memories that bind two people together in a loving, trusting union without any interferences from the past.
There are damaged family relationships as a result of sex before marriage. Often premarital sex is justified because they are getting married anyway. But studies have shown that there are twice as many broken engagements among those couples and those are the ones more likely to be divorced or separated or to engage in adultery. One of the things God protects is the trust and assurance of fidelity that a proper sexual union brings.
There are children who come as a result of fornication and adultery. Safe sex is very often not safe as a prevention of pregnancy. Then a child is born without the proper foundation for nurturing that should be there. The exploding violence among teens has a direct relationship to children born out of wedlock and raised by a single parent. What God intended as a blessing of man and woman’s love brings shame, embarrassment, and trouble.
Damaged relationship with parents also comes as a result of unlawful sexual behavior. Godly, loving parents can forgive but they will experience hurt and pain for the young people who have strayed from the boundaries God has established.
Many parents feel absolutely distressed and confused with confronted with the issue of their children and premarital sex, and well they might; children can see all around them conflicting messages from television and movies, from books, from their peers, and from their boyfriends or girlfriends, the people whom they may think care for them most. Let your message be clear and steadfast. Although teens long for excitement and spontaneity, they certainly don’t need it from their parents!
There are relational reasons to wait for sex until marriage. For one thing, sex hinders communication. Sex is often the easy way out to those who have never learned to communicate intimately apart from the physical. Efforts to really get to know the person and their likes and dislikes are often hindered when sexual activity starts. Sex becomes the focus, and other aspects of the relationship have no chance to develop. And a relationship based solely on sex is in trouble, for you can spend only so much time in bed. ?When we delay physical involvement till its proper time, we allow the relationship to grow and mature?(mchanney4). Friendship lays the foundation for love to blossom. By obeying God’s plan to wait for sex, a couple can discover other ways to communicate that will do much in building a healthy relationship. There are damaged family relationships as a result of sex before marriage.
Often premarital sex is justified “Because we are getting married anyway.” But studies have shown that there are twice as many broken engagements among those couples and those are the ones more likely to be divorced or separated or to engage in adultery. One of the things God protects is the trust and assurance of fidelity that a proper sexual union brings. There are children who come as a result of fornication and adultery. “Safe sex” is very often not safe as a prevention of pregnancy. Then a child is born without the proper foundation for nurturing that should be there. The exploding violence among teens has a direct relationship to children born out of wedlock and raised by a single parent.
It will cause you to be confused, anxious, unsure if you did the right thing, dissatisfied, longing for your first love, always wondering what life would have been like with the first person, more likely to be untrue to your spouse, not trusted completely by your spouse if you choose to tell it and unable to communicate as easily if you are keeping a secret. You may also find yourself concerned about the negative effects you may have had on your first partner if you are a truly caring person. It just isn?t remotely worth causing yourself all this anguish and turmoil because you did not understand the importance of planning ahead and were talked into this harmful activity. We have to make up our own mind and stand firm when the test comes.
The biggest worry to everyone still remains std?s. Fifty years ago, teens were warned about two STDs (called “venereal diseases” then): syphilis and gonorrhea. What has our newfound sexual freedom brought? There are now over 50 STDs, and AIDS is not the only one that kills. And others can cripple and/or make life miserable. (Herpes is not a picnic.) Some cause birth defects that pass a parent’s foolish decision on to an innocent child. Furthermore, that sperm that causes pregnancy can get through a tiny tear or pinhole in a condom. But the virus that causes AIDS is up to 300 to 400 times smaller than the sperm. Other STD?s such as the bacteria and parasite animals can be treated with good results but sometimes they can lead to serious complications as many types of cancer, infertility, and birth defects. The most affected people by STD?s in the United States are teenagers because of the lack of knowledge about this field and their sexual life.