Love and relationships are controversial topics in which people encounter on a daily basis. They are also topics that are viewed by many different people, from different perspectives. Three authors write on the topic of love; Katherine Anne Porter in “Marriage is Belonging”, June Callwood in “Forget Prince Charming” and Robertson Davies in “The Pleasures of Love”. Porter argues that both partners must surrender their freedom and social life in order to obtain a steady relationship. She argues this because one must take time out of their social life in order to put time and effort into a relationship.
Whereas, Callwood argues that long term relationships are unlike fairy tales and therefore require balance and compromise. Callwood argues this because individuals need to work at their relationship in order for their love to continue to thrive. Lastly, Davies argues when communication and understanding is abundant in a relationship, love is less likely to die. Davies argues this because communication is crucial in respect to discovering the traits and reasoning that brought them together. Individual’s perspectives on love and how to find a lifelong partner differ greatly.
Katherine Anne Porter, the author of “Marriage is Belonging”, writes that one must sacrifice their independence in order to “…share another life, the life in fact presumably dearest to them” (Porter 56). Being united with someone means that one must always be loyal, honest and generous towards their partner. Porter says that these characteristics as well as reducing the importance of a social life “are required for two people to go on growing together and in the same direction” (Porter58). She uses this quote to explain that one must give up partial freedom so that time and effort can be put into the beginning of their new, shared life.
As a result of surrendering one’s social life for a significant other, in return one will be compensated with a permanent place to belong. Likewise Porter, June Callwood believes that one must give something to get something in return. Callwood writes that building a life-long union requires a lot of work and effort. Balance and compromise from both parties is required for a relationship to survive. To prove her thesis Callwood writes “…Dr. William Blatz was asked the secret of his serene marriage. He replied ‘I make the dressing and she makes the salad. ’” (Callwod 323).
Callwood effectively uses this quote to demonstrate thatr elationships are a collaboration. Though balance is not always fifty-fifty, effort comes from both sides. In “Forget Prince Charming” Callwood shares a realistic perspective of a long-term relationship, in which does not involve ‘Prince Charming’, but two individuals who compromise and work towards learning to live with one another. Lifelong relationships do not come easy and are something that partners need to work at. In agreement with Callwood, Davies believes that relationships require effort.
In “The Pleasures of Love”, Davies claims that the love of individuals that confide in each other continues to thrive. He writes, “…knowing only that they will be happier united than apart, they had better set to work as soon as possible to discover why they married and nourish the feeling which has drawn them together” (Davies 53). Davies uses this quote to express that individuals that are in love must discover what they like about their partner in order to enjoy each other’s company and to have a loved plentiful union.
In addition, he states in his essay, communication between lovers leads to a stronger, long lasting relationship. “People who love each other should talk to each other; they should confide their honest emotions, their deepest wishes” (Davies 54). This quote demonstrates that when one shares emotions and secrets with their significant other results in understanding of feelings as well as trust. Communication between partners is an important part of keeping love alive.