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Nursery Rhymes Essay

So here I am, really scared and nervous, but here’s a secret my mum told me, adults are just as anxious talking in public, the trick is to picture everyone in clown suits; my Apa’s red nose really suits her.

Hmm, my speech is supposed to be humorous and as a 6 year old nothing is more hilarious as old nursery rhymes I mean can you really picture a huge egg perched on a wall, and why on earth did the king send his army to help humpty when maybe a chef would’ve done instead. Again, why on earth was the king involved? Then you get insy wincy, for being a spider he wasn’t a very bright spark. He firstly climbed up a water spout.. let’s see, cloudy day, water sprout..rain..light bulb..ting…but no, he goes and climbs up the spout. Again next time use the wall, he must have been a male, duh.. We pass the old age home every day on our way to school. I always feel sorry for these poor people; I mean how can people leave their mom’s there. But then I think about the old women who lived in a shoe.. Now that’s really sad, sure do hope it’s a really big shoe. Nursery rhymes are really silly, but if you can’t beat them join them.

There’s my version:

There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe.
The place was disgusting
and smelled like pee-ewe!

The windows were drafty.

The roof was a leaker.
But that’s what you get
When you live in a sneaker.

Humpty Dumpty sat in a tree.
Humpty Dumpty got stung by a bee.
He fell out and hit his head,
and now he thinks his name is “Fred.”

The tighty-whity spider went down the waterslide.
Got a water wedgie halfway down the ride.
Jumped up and screamed and ran around in pain.
Now the tighty-whity spider will not do that again.


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