Communication had its verbal and nonverbal understandings, but they also have their misunderstandings. Body language has industrialized itself with different types of language that were brought up by the society. Men and women weren’t use to these body languages towards the similar gender. Miscommunication has been a problem when dealing with these differences. Men and women continue to build body languages that only made sense to themselves and not to the opposite gender. Although one defeats the other in a general body language such as; gestures for men and facial expressions for women, they will always be equal. Body languages may also differ between the two parties through culture and behavior. By knowing the differences between the two genders, a mutual understanding may be established.
What is “communication”? Realistically, we can never fail to harass the use of communication because of its purpose in the society. Communication can be either verbal or nonverbal (Carnes.2010). How DO Men and Women communicate differently using body language? That’s the question we would usually ask ourselves and scarcely know the answer. According to Gray, author of the best-seller “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” (1992), one of the reasons that men and women differ in their use of nonverbal communication is that their reasons for communicating are often different (Carnes.2010). This means, in most situations, a man will commonly misunderstood a woman’s language because the perspective of one gender is distributed at a different angle.
Diligently, Communication has altered itself through the different uses of body language between men and women; therefore, by expanding our knowledge of its diversity; we can unravel the miscommunication between two different parties. Such as the different types of verbally communicating, there are also different types of body language. We can’t entirely stress ourselves to see that, it is now a common and preferable use to most nowadays. Body language has industrialized itself through, facial expression, gestures, and physical contact by different classes of the society, whether it’s from the low class (Gangs, uneducated, etc.) to the high class (the Rich, prejudice, perfectionists, etc.). Research shows that women tend to make more eye contact during communication than men (Carnes.2010).
Part of the reason for this is that, they want to be able to engage an emotional connection. An emotional connection through facial expression provides women an easier approach without the need to decide the words she wants or needs to say. This is why women are often taken for granted by men, because men read the emotions shown by women differently. Despite women’s abusive use of eye contact, men also have their side of use. Unlike women, men use eye contact to intimidate by nonverbally asserting dominance (Grover). Since men and women use similar nonverbal communication approach to different ends, they may interpret it differently when confronted. However, eye contact isn’t the only facial expression they differ, but also a simple smile. Women smile more often than men, however, this doesn’t necessarily mean that women are naturally happier than men.
Freeman, author of “Women: A feminist perspective,” asserts that men rely on more obvious gestures and are more likely to use their hands to express themselves (Carnes.2010). Majority of the time, men decide to let their hands do the talking, such as women; they try not to stress themselves with words in order for them to remain in a safe zone. Similar situation happens within cultures such as the Samoans. The High Chiefs would speak with a lot of hand movement in a tradition ceremony. This means, they fear that words wouldn’t deliver correctly or satisfy the opposite. Because men dominant over gesture than women; women tend to make up for it with more facial expressions. However, that doesn’t mean women don’t know how to use gesture, for they use more subtle and restrained gestures and exhibit deferential gestures, such as lowering the eyes when interrupted or confronted (Carnes.2010). According to Carnes (2010), since men are more likely than women to associate touching with sexual intentions, heterosexual men are less to use touch during conversation with other men.
Due to what men call, “Manly hood” or a similar term called “standards”. Men tend to keep distances from people when they talk to them and touch them less. Men do not express too much when touching other men unlike women, where they are far less concerned about touching other women because they also use touching as an expression of friendship or sympathy. They stand close to people and touch them to generally connect with whoever they are talking to. The difference between the two are simple, men aren’t as open as women where they express their feelings to men through touching just as to other women. This is considered a nonverbal difference because, like other reasons, it can be interpreted in different ways by different genders. Miscommunication has been a problem when dealing with these differences such as relationships. Romantic relationships often end due to miscommunication between the man and woman (Renwall.2010).
It’s not because either of the two didn’t have good intentions, it’s because they didn’t communicate well enough to understand each other. Among males, competition is more important. Women in the other hand, concentrate more on cooperation. Studies show that as males’ age, their fact-to-face communication eventually resembles two people sitting in the driver’s and passenger’s seats, in the front seats of a vehicle (Renwall.2010). However, girls sit or stand in a circle when communicating, so that it’ll them to form a bond with each other. We’re all-too-familiar with the iconic scene of a husband who’s just returned from work, and buries himself in the daily newspaper. His wife wants to talk to him about his day, but he’d rather enjoy the escapism that the newspaper provides. In this scenario, neither the man nor the woman is “right” or “wrong.” Instead, they’re exhibiting the common communication style of men and women, in a particular situation (Renwall.2010).
In addition to (Carnes) relationships, women tend to lean forward when talking to a person, to show that they’re listening. They tend to use nonverbal communication as a means of enhancing her relationship with the person she’s communicating with. Often of times when couples or friends get into a major argument, it’s by miscommunication. But by learning how to communicate more effectively with opposite gender, you can prevent such situations that could even be fatal to the relationship! (Renwall.2010).
There are times when women tend to say things while moving in circles; especially if there’s something that’s bothering them. By dropping hints instead of attacking the matter head on, women feel they are working at maintaining the relationship (Finkle.2011). However, it can contradict if a man is totally confused because he lacks at interpretation. Women go in circles, but men go for the jugular. To elaborate more on that; when men are bothered by something, they most likely focus on verbally communicating with just few words such as, “that’s just wrong”. Women interpret this as a heartless and tactless way of communicating, which may lead to arguments (Finkle.2011).
Although one is dominant than the other to certain categories; women tend to be better at understanding body languages than men. Women are often better at picking up differences between what someone is saying with his words and body language. Sometimes women would communicate with men nonverbally; however, they wonder why men do not understand. On a daily basis, you would hear a man or a group of men calling out to a woman by saying words such as “hey baby, damn you’re hot, hello sexy momma, etc.” this is what Sam Grover of the eHow contributor community meant when he said “The reason is because men rely more on verbal communication than women.” This could sometime be a turn off for most women because it gives an image that they are cheap (Ta’amu.2012)
There are differences in behaviors as well as differences in the purpose behind their behaviors (Amos,2012). These are the two primary ways that show up through the differences between men and women in body language. This means, some of these differences are done naturally; similar to genetics. Others are picked off through experience from places and can definitely differ in cultures. As mentioned earlier, women are more open than men, thus displaying their type of behavior called nurturing behavior.
Contraire, on the men side, they display behaviors of a king; power and dominance. However, this was known to be facts in the past. In the modern world, these tendencies are subject to far more variability than ever before. This is due to increased acceptance and comfort with each gender displaying non-typical body language in many different situations (Amos.2012). Men and women use language differently and communicate differently because they were usually brought up differently. The society expects boys and girls as different background. Boys are expected to put themselves forward, while girls are expected to be humble.
The most common body language differences are receiving and sending messages. When receiving messages, as mentioned before; women tend to be better. Unfortunately, men tend to be less skilled at using indirect body language to influence communication without actually knowing it at all when sending messages. Unlikely as it is, there are factual physical reasons for these differences. Women process messages using up to 16 different parts of their brain at once, while men process messages using about six or 7 different parts of their brain at once. Neither is better than other, but each processing pattern does influence the receiving and sending of messages based on gender (Amos,2012) This is the reason for women’s power to multitask and their creative imaginations.
As with most things divided up along gender lines, the body language differences between men and women are best used as general guidelines (Amos.2012). This is saying that by knowing these differences between men and women, we may establish a better understanding between the two genders. Relationships between others may last longer than usual. One of the most common ways to better understand the opposite gender is by trust. They are a starting point, if you will, for engaging in interactions and going through the process of establishing rapport and building trust (Amos.2012). Once both men and women better understand each other’s perspective, both can improve on interpretation and understanding. The key is to be respectful of differences and not belittle or judge either gender based on body language issues (Amost.2012).
We’re all addressed to our own action, words, perspective, and intention. There will always be a time when we got to face the differences. Just as the saying goes “Let’s sit, and settle our differences”. By knowing the differences between the two genders, we can start knowing that neither is right or wrong. Despite who is dominant, both men and women have fallen into miscommunication.
Therefore, by understanding how the opposite gender tends to communicate, and by using some of those methods yourself–you can prevent miscommunication and strengthen the relationship with your special someone (Renwall.2010). Through the expansion of human knowledge, we unraveled the differences. This study has a lot of implications and great information for mangers who manage both genders, leaders, ministers, CEO of companies etc… A deeper understanding of the way men and women communicate many domestic and social conflicts in society can be resolved. (Ta’amu.2012)
* Carnes, D. (2010, July 12). Retrieved November 30, 2012, from http://www.livestrong.com/article/172581-do-men-women-use-nonverbal-communication-differently/#ixzz2BnRKgKyj
* Renwall, G. (2010, March 16). Retrieved November 30, 2012, from http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Men-and-Women-Communicate-Differently&id=3940430
* Grover, S. (n.d.). Retrieved November 30, 2012, from http://www.ehow.com/info_8110509_gender-differences-nonverbal-communications.html
* Amos, J. (2012, October 15). Retrieved November 30, 2012, from http://www.bodylanguageexpert.co.uk/bodylanguageandmenandwomen.html
* Finkle, L. (2011, October 12). In Communication. Retrieved November 30, 2012, from http://incedogroup.com/do-men-and-women-communicate-differently-3-telltale-examples-that-say-they-do/