Throughout the story the narrator describes several intimate moments she has shared with men in her past, which is seemingly braggadocios, but as it continues, it’s actually about a woman who desires to love herself. She begins by explaining how she is not from a low class family because her dad descended from middle ranking, stated on page 594, but by the age of 13 years old she had experienced many lovers.
How ironic, because aristocrats are held in such high regards, and would never be caught being so promiscuous, but she somehow seems to blame the reason for her tenacious desire for lovemaking on the aristocratic woman and men she witnessed. Another proud moment for the narrator was when she spoke about being the only woman, in a village of 170 attractive women, that was thought to be pretty enough to be taken back to the domain lords attention. As stated on page 598,”When I got there, the old retainer thought I was even better than the woman in the painting, so the search was called off. She continues to emphasize her abilities regarding lovemaking with the monk on page 601, the man she wrote letters for on page 605, and finally the 500 disciples on page 610. Ultimately, the narrators decides to abandon her commitment to be of pure mind and heart to meditate and enter the way of the Buddha, as stated on page 611, because she is overpowered by her eminent desire to relive all of the adventures she experienced though her lovemaking, the proudest moments of her existence.