My day today proved to be one of the strangest and most revealing in my life. I’ve been speeding forward so rapidly with everything that I’ve barely had a proper chance to stop and look back. My opportunity came today, when apparently Helly was having some ‘family issues’. I know you’re only a book, but you don’t have to be a genius to work out why Loopy sent me to help her instead of Liz. To be honest, Helly helped me just as much as I helped her today.
When I first found her in the storage cupboard, she was a right old mess, I tell you, tears streaming down her face like waterfalls, and clutching more tissues than I thought humanely possible. She looked as if she was suffering from a severe fever. Once Helly had settled down (well as far as someone in a state like her could settle down) she explained enough for me to understand the conflict she had going on with ‘Toad-Shoes’. After shifting myself into a near-comfortable position I launched into my Goggle-Eyes story. I realise that the next part may sound a bit vain, but I am really, rather a good story teller.
I could tell from the sparkle in Helly’s eyes that she was entranced, and could have happily settled down and listened all day. Actually, she did, almost. A few hours. Close enough. As I recalled the events, they seemed to re-enlighten in my mind; it was as if I was reliving every single minute, but with a completely different attitude to everything. It’s an amazing but queer feeling, to lose yourself in your own story. I could imagine it all in my mind. I thought back, observed my every action, and at the same time telling what I did to Helly, making me feel quite like I was commentating on my own life.
My emotions all merged together, what I felt then to what I feel now. Reflecting on it, there are so things I wish I never said, however, I could never really shake off that smug little feeling you get; whenever I did something horrible to a certain someone, my immediate reaction would be embarrassment and a short glance at Helly to make sure she wasn’t as disgusted as I was with my childish actions, but, as I regret to admit, then followed by a small ‘Ha ha’ in my mind. It shocked me (in a good way, don’t worry) how much I’d changed these past few months.
Helly’s little dilemma made me realise just how much I just wanted to tell somebody else what I had been through, going from absolutely loathing a disgusting specimen that eyes’ popped out at my mother dressing, to loving someone who had now lightened up everything and made me happy. True, Gerald (see, I’m calling him his proper name now) is blunt, rude, and occasionally makes such bad jokes that it’s slightly worrying, but I guess as time went by I got used to having him around, so used to it in fact that it’s a surprise if he’s not around our house by at least 4pm.
I now realise that he was incredibly patient with what nuisance I was causing him. I find it incredible how much I used to hate him, but how I was silly enough not to realise that he was part of my life until it was too late. At the end of my tale (it actually lasted all morning, can you believe it? ), Helly made me realise that I have grown so attached to him, that I can swear on my life I wouldn’t mind if he and mum got married. It’s the complete opposite to what I had said to Gerald when he first walked in, can- Uh oh. Mum’s coming; she’ll kill me if she finds up I’m up this late again writing in you. Better go NOW. Night!
Courtney from Study Moose
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