The family is regarded as the basic unit of society and as such, good parenting is important in order to strengthen the family as an institution. Nevertheless, the situation of every family is different. There are important factors such as age, cultural, background, financial stability, etc. that must be carefully considered in assessing the parenting style in every family. Being the case, it is necessary that the situation of families are given due importance and the most effective way to be able to understand parenting styles is through the face-to-face interaction with parents.
In relation to this, Henry and Tanya Pietrkowski were interviewed when it comes to parenting their daughter, Sophia. The interviewees are Henry and Tanya Pietrkowski who are the parents of a 14 years old teenager. The first part of the interview is about the family background of the couple that involves their respective ethnicity and religion. Tanya has a German-Jewish and Russian Jewish ethnicity. She pointed out that there was a conflict between the German and Russian sides of her family.
She grew up in a small town Georgia wherein Jews are regarded as a minority. On the other hand, Henry came from a family of first-generation American Jewish. His parents emigrated from Poland and were Holocaust survivors. Henry grew up in the north side of Chicago. In this part of the interview, the ethnicity and religious background of the couple is given importance because the place and way by which they grew up have a substantial effect in their corresponding beliefs and values about parenting (McDermott 4).
In addition, through the conversation of the interviewer with the couple it was established that their ancestors were immigrants from other countries and regarded as a minority in the American society. Tanya even explicitly stated that she experienced living in a small town in Georgia wherein Jews are a minority. In terms of parenting, the cultural background of the parents is important, especially when it comes to dealing with teachers that will be responsible in educating their children.
The parents and the teachers should be able to understand each other in terms of cultural context in order for them to properly guide the education and behavior of the child (McDermott 4). The interview with the couple also gives emphasis with the respective lessons that they learn from their parents regarding parenting. The couple explained that their parents veered away from the parenting styles of their grandparents because the latter experienced a very difficult childhood, which is why in the case of Tanya, her parents chose to live in Georgia so that she will not experience the difficulties that they went through.
Both the parents of the couple are disciplinarians. Nevertheless, they were still able to maximize their skills and talents even though their parents are not financial stable. Tanya’s father was an art professor, which make it easier for her to develop her singing, running, debating, and other skills because her father provided her with private lessons with his colleagues in the academe. Tanya’s father exemplified the ability of parents to give the necessary their children by means of supporting their interests, which eventually served as a huge help in maximizing their potentials as individuals (Heath 316).
Unfortunately, Tanya admitted that her parents were not able to address the issues that they have during their childhood, which makes it difficult for them to instill the necessary values to her and her brother. Furthermore, Tanya and her mother also have disagreements on the way Tanya raised her daughter, especially when it comes to financial matters and the values that she teach her daughter. The problem of Tanya’s parents in teaching values to their children is brought about by unresolved childhood issues, which is discussed by Erik Erikson in the stages of development.
Tanya’s parents were not able to properly go through the different stages of development, which is why their unresolved childhood issues still affects their parenting style (Elkind 9). Moreover, the disagreement between Tanya and her mother is also caused by the failure of the mother to properly develop into an adult that has the necessary financial stability and value fulfillment (Newman and Newman 317). The second part of the interview involves the conversation about the marriage of the couple and their decision to conceive a child.
Based on the answer of the couple, they were only 13 months married when Tanya became pregnant. The couple already acknowledges the idea that they will become parents but they did not expect that it will happen very soon. However, even though the child came very early in their marriage the couple was able to fulfill their respective dreams of being married first and having a stable job before having a baby.
In this situation, the couple was individually fulfilled before having a baby, which is essential in their growth process as adults and eventually has a good effect in their parenting (Simon and Lambert 91). The last part of the interview is about the parenting of the couple. It is clearly observable that the couple also wants the best for their daughter, in terms of her living a better life as compared to them. The couple has their own parenting style that is different from their parents because their experienced taught them their parents lack the necessary tending in the way they were raised (Taylor 34).
Moreover, the couple also moved to a part of Chicago that has Jewish community in order for their daughter not to feel isolated. They also enrolled their daughter to a Jewish school in order for her to have a strong Jewish faith unlike them. The couple admitted that they do not have any specific parenting style for their daughter wherein they did not establish any parenting roles of rules that their daughter need to follow.
The couple just goes with the flow of parenting but they believed that they were able to raise their children well because they listen to her, which is important in parenting. The couple advised other parents that the right way of parenting is by trusting one’s instinct, which is actually true in the most current studies that there is “no single recipe for successful parenting” because every family have different issues, backgrounds, beliefs, and values that must be considered in identifying the right parenting style (Maccoby 451).