The beginning of the poem is about a dream reflecting the beginning of a relationship, or more specifically, your relationship. In your dream it seems you had a lot of fun, throwing oranges at your boyfriend, and all the kisses. In the next dream, you’re progressing in the relationship, and things get a bit more serious and realistic. In the last dream he seems to be getting annoyed with you, even though you’re the same.
You stay a static character and he isn’t, in the dreams. Seeing that dreams are a reflection of real life, he begins to become annoyed with you as he grows sicker, and things become serious. In the next dream you could see he was growing sicker, and that he was going to die. With hints like, the sky was red, the sand was red, and the bird-crows- were watching him. You also explained how you could hear his heart beat, and you could hear him breathing.
When a person is sick and is very close to death, hearing signs that they are still alive it the most comforting thing you could hear. You also talk about his ribs being delineated like a junkyard dogs, and the hospital, which implies illness, I think aids or Cancer. When you stop talking about the dreams, we are where you were in the relationship at that time, seriousness, and that you needed to stay by his side. When he was on the bridge it just showed that he need you to take care of him, you both needed to be saved.
Seeing as both of you couldn’t save yourselves it was a chore to save each other. He asked about if you would love him even more when he was dead, there was a certainty, no hypothetical, which made it scarier. That is why you felt the need to fatten him up, because he knew he was going to die, you wanted to stop the inevitable. When you said you wanted to fat him up, it made me think of chemotherapy which to some degree drains your health, and aids, which does the same.
Courtney from Study Moose
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