Ending a relationship with your partner is never an easy thing to do, but if one finds themselves unhappy in the relationship than the best thing to do would be to part ways. It is important to not force yourself to be in a relationship if you are no longer happy. Ending the relationship can be better in order to avoid further issues and heart ache. You owe it to yourself and your partner to call it quits if things aren’t working out. Ending a relationship can be difficult, but by utilizing these four essential steps; thinking things through, arrange to meet up in person, be honest, and being compassionate and understanding, you can assist the process for both you and your partner.
First, make sure to think things through and decide if ending the relationship is what you really want to do. You will need to make sure to avoid impulsive actions that can lead you to hasty decisions that you will end up regretting. Make sure to give yourself time after a heated issue/argument in order to start thinking clearly. Once you feel more relaxed a list of pros and cons can be extremely helpful in assisting you through this difficult decision. While making your list, it is always important not to over think about the different scenarios and make sure to keep it simple. The list compiled should be used to help put things into perspective and allow a clear picture about the next phase that is needed.
Second, give your partner the courtesy and respect of ending the relationship with them in person. By being able to sit down face to face with your partner the communication of feelings and concerns/issues will become evident both in verbal tones and body gesture. If possible, avoid meeting up around special days; holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, because it would not be fair to ruin those days for them. It is also important to avoid locations that were of importance to both of you or overly crowded areas. Even though you already know how the end of your meeting will turn out, it is helpful to have a conversation to allow both persons the opportunity to release feelings. This might be the last time the two of you might be together so closure and honesty is needed for both of you to be able to move forward.
Third, honesty is the most important foundation of any relationship, regardless of the state of the relationship. It is important for you to start the conversation and jump right into the reason for the meeting without beating around the bush. Be as honest, concise, and to the point as possible. Make sure to complete your full thought before allowing your partner the chance to speak. Create a positive, open environment in which you both feel at ease in saying anything that needs to be said in that moment. It is important at this step to list issues/concerns that you had with the relationship and this is where your pros/cons list can be useful. Make sure to be honest about the bad times, but also the good times as well. Choosing your words wisely will allow you to give constructive criticism on issues, being effective in getting your point across, and at the same time making sure to be gentle and considerate of your partner’s feelings.
Ultimately, being compassionate and understanding will allow both of you to be helpful to each other to ease through the process of ending the relationship. Both of you will be experiencing hurt feelings, but in order to end things amicably you will want to do your best to be there for the other person in the moment. If needed, in the moment, be there to offer a shoulder to lean on for your partner. Guidelines regarding any further contact with each other should also be put in place so that it can assist with this new transition for your partner. Let them know that things will be okay and in due time they will see that the relationship had to turn out the way it did for the benefit of both of you.
At the end of a relationship you will have many emotions that will need to be dealt with in order to move forward. Knowing that the relationship has come to an end is only the start of the long process ahead. Allow yourself time to think about the relationship and whether it can be salvaged. When the relationship can no longer be fixed create a moment to speak to your partner in person. Going into that meeting you should be prepared to be honest and allow your partner to be honest with you as well. At the end of the relationship you and your partner might not be at the same point of the ending and it is important and helpful to assist them by being compassionate and understanding of their needs. By following these steps you can help transition through the end of the relationship and allow for growth that can assist both partners in their future relationships.