Emotional ability or emotional intelligence is the ability to assess, identify and control the emotions of oneself. It is also the ability to recognize the impact of your own emotions upon your behavior and be aware of the emotions of others around you (Rosete, & Ciracohhi, 2001). This is not always an easy task. It is a skill you have to work at constantly. Combine these sentences to make a direct comment. Since the brain tends to go into fight or flight mode quickly and easily, we have to figure out a strategy on how to think before we react. Reacting is instinctual and a way to combat an instinctual reaction is to hone your awareness of your own emotional state (Rosete, & Ciracohhi, 2001). Knowing what events may trigger an emotional response will help you to be able to manage a reaction, manage your responses and move from being reactive to proactive. Several years ago I worked at a social service agency and had trouble with my supervisor.
She was a chronic and consistent micromanager and always interrupted my tasks to assign another task that was menial and mundane. She would give me a project to work on and then check in on me constantly to see how it was going and how far along I had come. It drove me insane! I became so unnerved and agitated at her behavior that she provoked me to shut down and I became completely defiant. One task she gave me was so completely unnecessary that I flatly refused. I was stressed and highly emotional. I told her that task was a time waster and I’m not going to do that task or anything else until she treated me with respect and stop micro managing me. I was angry, shaking and crying. She immediately went to HR and told them I was defiant, angry and verbally abusive.
I knew that wasn’t the case: I had just had enough. I agree to mediation with someone from the HR department whom I trusted to provide me with a fair mediation. If members of the team respect the lead negotiator, the process is manageable (lecture 8). Before the mediation, I tried to pull myself together so that I wouldn’t be so emotional during the meeting. I knew I wouldn’t have as much credibility if I was visibly too emotional. I tried to practice some self-management for the meeting. I wanted to focus on strategies for control of my motion and my emotional impulses (Mason, 2010). This was to no avail. I was so infuriated by the behavior of my supervisor that I completely broke down in mediation.
I tried to suppress anger but it came out in my tears. I was an emotional wreck and knew that my emotions were too far gone to try and control at this point. In spite of everything, the mediation went well and we worked on some strategies that would have allowed me more freedom while giving my supervisor the assurance that the task would be done. Unbeknownst to them, I packed up and walked out at lunchtime and never returned.
I knew that I would never be able to forge ahead after that day with any amount of dignity or respect after such an emotional breakdown and didn’t even want to try. We all have emotions that influence our response to the world around but when employees have a high competence of emotional intelligence they have the ability to manage emotions and not let them influence their responses to their environment (Mason, 2010). People don’t follow those who can’t control their emotions and those kind of workers generally make for poor employees and poor leaders.
Mason, K. (2010, December 5). Why is emotional intelligence important in the business workplace? .The Thriving Small Business, 2-4. Rosete, D., & Ciracohhi, J. (2001). Emotional intelligence and its relationship to workplace performance outcomes of leadership effectiveness .Leadership & Organization Development Journal ,26(5), 288-296.