I believe that I am an addict, I made a lot of bad decisions in my life. But the worst was my decision to start using drugs. From the day that I started using to now I have loved it. And at times I would do just about anything to get it, I have done just about everything except sell my body. I stole from the people I love to get what I needed. Using drugs went from only on the weekends, to a couple times a week, to everyday. The worst part is, is I didn’t see that it was consuming so much of my life.
There came a point where just smoking weed wasn’t enough anymore, and that’s when i should have walked away. I was 16 when I did heroin the first time. But it wasn’t until a year later when I started shooting up. My best friend and I did everything together and this was no different. We were hooked, she more than I, our lives revolved around getting high. I remember the days we couldn’t get it, she would shake and cry because her body ached for it so bad. I hated seeing her sick, all I could do nothing to help her.
It was the worst thing that I have ever seen. When I could I would get her what she needed. We spent our summer days inside. Most of the time we were so high that we couldn’t move, but to us that was the best part of the day. At that moment we could finally just close our eyes and breathe. Looking back now the worst part for me is that I helped my best friend kill herself. I provided her with the drug that was sucking her dry. At that point in time I thought I was helping her.
We have always depended on each other but this time we depended on something else. We both are not using heroin anymore, and have come out on the other side of that addiction. We both know that if it were placed in front of us we could not say no. Addiction has taken a lot from me. I have lost the trust of my Parents and my freedom I ounce had. My best friend and I can not hangout outside of school, were just not good for each other to be around. But most of all I lost respect for myself.
Courtney from Study Moose
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