My three day journal experience was an interesting experience. I was very focused on the physiological and cognitive elements of my being. I will plan to continue becoming more aware of the interplay between the physical and emotional well being through journaling. Day one was a day of negative emotions. As a result, my body seemed to reflect this. I was unable to sleep the night before this day and as a result my body was tired and weak. All morning my body was hard to manipulate even to get out of chair. I reflected weariness in my face; several people asked me if I felt ill.
I was actually in pain; my body physically ached. I almost felt like I was coming down with the flu. My thoughts were slow in coming to me, and I found it hard to concentrate. After lunch, my body and mind were shutting down. All I could think about was taking a nap. Nothing else seemed important. Luckily, my friend Will showed up to cheer me up. He made me smile and that made my whole body feel lighter. I forgot about my problems for the moment. Later, I realized that I had not eaten well or slept well for a few days. This is why my body hurts.
I was not able to think clearly about anything and was becoming more and more confused when I tried that night. My eyes began to sting, so I just decided to go to bed. I am worn out by thinking; I just want to be able to escape my thoughts for now, even though I know it is just for a little while. Day two was much better. I woke up rested, for once, so I was off to a good start. I felt like I had lots of energy; my body didn’t hurt and my mind was clear. I decided to catch up on the work that I had let get away from me. When I did, I felt much better both mentally and physically.
I was motivated by this high feeling to stay more in tune with my body’s needs even though I had a lot of things on my mind. As a result of finally getting things done, I was able to relax my mind and my body. The feeling of accomplish accomplishment felt so good that I resolved to meditate more in order to preserve this calmness. Day three wasn’t quite as good as the second day but much better than day one. I got another good night’s rest, so my body felt fine. My mind was not as clear, though, because I was worried about a meeting that I had later that morning.
After the meeting, I was confused. I had so many decisions to make that I found it hard to focus on anything. I got nothing accomplished, so I started getting upset. However, I was able to recognize that my feelings of uncertainty were normal, even though I hated them. In addition, I realized that my body felt fine, unlike the first day when I really didn’t know what was going on at all. At least I have something to focus on now. Once again, that evening, I reached out for support and companionship of a good friend. Even though I was tired, she helped me feel better.
I went to bed early again that evening, Overall, I realized that my emotions do affect the way I think and feel. First, if I don’t get enough rest, my body shuts down. When that happens, I can’t think at all. First and foremost, I must make sure I get enough sleep. After that, I have to remind myself to focus on the things that are bothering me. When I give them an identity, I can deal with the emotions. When I don’t give them an identity, they conquer me. Finally, I realized that I respond positively to friends and conversation.
I will continue to seek this out when I have the opportunity. I noticed that I was better able to articulate my problems on day three because my body was more rested than I could on the first day. I realized that emotions of uncertainty and confusing really weigh me down. By sleeping well, eating well, and meditating, I can stave off these feelings. When they do creep up, I need to address them other than escaping from them. Short term escapes only compound my emotional concerns and ultimately make my body shut down. I will definitely continue this exercise.