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Divorce – Cause and Effect Essay

Before a marriage is fully “matured” 3 out of 10 fail and resort in a divorce. No child want’s to hear the word divorce mentioned by their parents, little alone the other spouse. Many now a days seek divorce as an “easy way out,” given that they have an annulment. Some may even cheat the system and get married for the spouses money, title, or objects. The marriages that are there just for show, don’t tend to last as long and become unhappy. In a marriage anything can go wrong from bad communication, cheating, and abuse. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, once a Russian novelist said, “much unhappiness come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” The number one reason marriages end is because of the lack of communication in the relation, according to Huffington Post. There are five main instances where a lack of communication can affect the marriage. The first one, is hiding your feelings. If you’re having a heated conversation with your spouse but keeping in feelings or problems then where is your relationship going to go? Oh I can help, nowhere.

The next type is bodily or physical. Simply rolling your eyes, walking away from the conversation, shrugging your shoulder, or even the lack of eye contact can push someone away. A “win-lose attitude” is one of the most aggravating things for someone to do, personally. If someone always says, “it wasn’t me,” if they’re judgemental or a very negative person it can agitate you and even bring you down. Lastly a lack of politeness can make someone feel underappreciated. If you continuously do something for someone and they correspond in a uncaring manner you will tend to feel over time like you don’t matter. The simple command, like “take the dog out,” can seem abrasive. They’re no such thing as over kindness, if someone does something nice for you, you can just simply correspond with a “thank you.” “Thank you honey,” any house wife, or husband would love to hear of their spouse. Just by keeping the “spark” between you and your spouse lite can help keep them interested in you, instead of others. Infidelity is the cause for 53% of a divorce.

Only 31% of marriages last after a cheating incident, and a whopping 53% of relationships are cheated. Isn’t it ironic though how psychiatrists and marriage counselors are the top two professions for the divorce rate. you would think since they work with helping marriages, that they’d have a lower chance, I guess not in this case. Many events can lead to infidelity. After the first year in the marriage there is the same habitual activities every day where the cheater may feel like they need something new in life, which is when someone may first turn to cheat. Having a child is a huge factor, it’ll affect the relationship no matter what you have done. The stress of having to completely care for another human being can affect you mentally, and some feel like they want to go out and have an adventure, but they turn to the wrong activity when that happens. When it comes to the 5th to 7th year, also known as “the seven year itch.” By this time most couples may have obtained the “american dream,” but they start to become bored and unhappy, so they turn to something new, to change things up. Then there’s the mid-life crisis. Generally around this time you’ve spent 20 years with the person, but you’re just not quite sure that another 20 you want to be with the person.

These instances are generally the reasons which fuels someone to cheat. It’s not always the case, but these are the times when infidelity is started. Just picture 5 million women, which is just a quarter of women in a marriage. That mere 25% is the percentage of women that have been in a abusive relationship. There’s six different way abuse can happen, the following are: physical, emotional, verbal, economic, mental, and sexual.Why do they do it? They seek to control their spouse. Emotional, mental, and verbal is generally how it starts, but then it can progress to sexual and economic. It can be hard for These types of abuse though don’t always pertain to the spouse, it could be happening to a child or children of the couple. To say divorce only affects the two joined in holy matrimony is an unstatement. The children, friends, family, everyone thats connected to the two can be effected.

As a child that has divorced parent, since I was two, can say it still affects me. I have to figure out a time during break when I can go that doesn’t conflict too much with my sports, I barely get to see my dad, and it’s hard to see my mom work and earn all of the money, by herself for us. So if you don’t want your marriage to end try to keep good communication a priority, whatever you do don’t cheat, and be sure to check if you’re being or are abusive, so you can get help to work on it.

Sources

Facts, Infidelity. “Infidelity Facts and Information.” Infidelity Facts. n.d. 27 March 2014.

Pave, Project. “6 Types of Abuse.” Just for Teens. n.d. 27 March 2014.

Post, Huffington. “Divorce Causes: 5 Communication Habits That Lead To Divorce.” November 29, 2012. HuffPost. 27 March 2014.


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