Thesis: Compared to my grandparents desired courtship and marriage, my preferred matrimony differs from their expectation in terms of the way to find a spouse, the form of holding a wedding, and the role to play in a family. Topic Sentences:
In the first place, when it comes to the ideal way to find a spouse, there is nothing similarly between my grandparents and me. Furthermore, when it makes a mention of the favorite form of holding a wedding, there is almost no alike idea between my grandparents and me. At last, when it points to the appropriate role to play in a family, there are a few standpoints in common between my grandparents and me.
Different Views in Courtship and Marriage
It is an undeniable fact that traditional culture has influence on courtship and marriage in a country, but the key points of courtship and marriage vary in the different stage of social development. Nowadays, people’s perspective on courtship and marriage has changed with the improvement of life quality in China. Comparing to my grandparents desired courtship and marriage, my preferred matrimony differs from their expectation in terms of the process to find a spouse, the way to hold a wedding, and the role to play in a family. In the first place, when it comes to the ideal way to find a spouse, there is nothing similarly between my grandparents and I. In my grandparents’ opinion, the introduction of matchmaker is the most acceptant way to find a partner, but I prefer to seek mate through myself. It is an undeniable fact that the spouse introduced by a go-between would have more similarities with us in the respect of family background.
The importance of family background could be shown in the aspect of building a person’s personality. After all, a good family background is beneficial to build sound personality. Nevertheless, the parties feeling to spouse is usually neglected correspondingly when the matchmaker help applicants to search for a partner among the candidates. It is hard to feel happy for most people in a marriage without love, and then we would lose patience and confidence to this kind of marriage. Seeking the partner by ourselves will resolve the feeling problem effectively, and the advantage of deciding the spouse obey our mind is also represented in the following sides.
For instance, it is easy to forgive each other after an argument because we value the relationship and do not willing to give it up lightly, and it is also not complicated to take care of the other one in the right way due to the fact that we are familiar with his habits. However, the disadvantages of making the decision by our mind should be brought to our attention as well. For example, there are a great many examples stating the fact that the amorous couple often gives too little care to the partner’s weakness.
This behavior always leads to the occurrence of Lightning marriage, and lightning marriage often results in a tragic ending due to lack of family commitments. Furthermore, when it makes a mention of the favorite form of holding a wedding, there is almost no alike idea between my grandparents and I. In my grandparents’ eyes, complying with the traditional wedding form is the best way to hold a wedding. But in my view, I really desire to have a wedding of my dreams. In other words, I would be the designer of my wedding form. The benefits of traditional wedding form are all wedding participants understand their work and people could pay more attention to the wedding arrangements. However, most people have a boring and outdated feeling when they talk about the traditional wedding form at present. The drawbacks of the traditional wedding are enlarged in the mind of our generation, because we can easily find that not only it difficult to leave a special impression, but also with some feudal colors, and feudal colors could not coexist with our values to advocate science. Holding the wedding in the form of my dream will full conform to the standard in my mind, and let me comprehend the meaning of my marriage at a deeper level.
Of course, I have to admit that the wedding form in the field of my expectation still has drawbacks. For example, I want a wedding at the beach with a simple way, but a comfortable atmosphere. This wedding form determines the main participants are composed of the most important person in my life instead of the friends of my grandparents or parents. Consequently, it loses the opportunity to become a public ceremony, and my families will feel disregardful and regretful. This hurt would be in the wake of their life, and it has negative influence on the relationship between my families and I. At last, when it points to the appropriate role to play in a family, there are a few standpoints in common between my grandparents and I. In the perspective of my grandparents, the woman should be a fulltime wife in a family, and the man should be responsible for make money to raise a family. Nevertheless, from my point of view, men and women have equal status in marriage. It means men and women play the same role in a family.
The merit of my grandparents’ perspective is evident that children will grow up in the environment which is full of love. Nevertheless, this allocation of roles in a family goes against to women’s individual value. The merit of my point of view is women could achieve her goal by pursuing career achievements. However, the weakness of my point of view is that women have to undergo extra pressure from the society competition and then they are in fear of getting married. All in all, different perspectives and attitudes in terms of courtship and marriage have positive sides as well as negative sides, it would be much better if we consider all of them before making a choice.
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