When I asked Google to define a friend it gave me 82,300,000 related results, but when I asked the definition of a good friend it only showed 47,000,000 results. This proved how people tend to have more challenges in characterizing what a good friend is, probably because it is harder to find one. Generally, a friend is described as a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Almost every single one of us will immediately nod in agreement to this definition and explain how your good friend never fails to make you smile. They are the ones who support every action you made, every word you said, and every decision you take.
As stated above, a good friend is something scarce since they are more than just a friend, but do they necessarily have to be someone who never disagrees? In my own opinion a good friend dishes out hard truths, has your best interest at heart, and will not hesitate to be a villain when required. Yes, they are not your family members corresponding to our common understanding, but they will act like ones.
A good friend will act like your father. Try to remember those days when anything is possible but to see eye to eye with your father. When your father was sick and preferred going for alternative medication but you tried to convince him that what he need is to see a doctor. Not to mention smaller disagreements, for instance when your father said that he was going to take the express way, you said it would be better to take the regular road. Arguments with our fathers are inevitable, it happens regularly because both of us think we know better than the other. However, we often forgot the real reason for our arguments; it is because we want the best for each other.
Similar cases will most likely occur with our good friends too, not as numerous but nevertheless it happens. There are moments when we make stupid decisions and we need someone who knows we are settling for something less than what we deserved to advise us. At the end of the day, a good friend will never leave or forsake you despite all the arguments you both had,
again just like your father.
A good friend will act like your mother. Our mothers are the most genuine and honest women in our life. They dare to unmask all the concealed pain, although she alone will take the consequences of being hated by doing something out of love. She will look you straight in the eye and said your boyfriend is not being faithful despite the fact that she had only met him twice. She know you that well that she can tell her beloved child is denying reality just because she did not want to be broken hearted. You will hate her that much for dragging you out of the fantasy you have been living, but eventually you will thank her for that.
For me, a good friend will do exactly the same. When they disclose an ugly truth that everyone kept secret from you with reasons to protect you, they will unveil it slowly and let you be broken. It is a tough love undoubtedly, but they did it because they care and it is better for them to be hated now rather than to let someone slap you on the face with that ugly truth in the future. However, they will not let you burn to the ground. They will help you to stand back up and move on when you are ready to be helped, like how your mother will tolerate your continuous crying, falling grades, and will even bake your favorite cake to nurse your broken heart.
A good friend will act the way your sibling does. You jumped over the fence, broke the windows, covered up for each other, and got grounded together. Both of you will stay in one room and keep quiet while trying to hold your tears from bursting when your parents were fighting. Those memories of what you had been through together are priceless. Nonetheless, there are also days when your big brother or sister brought back their date, you are happy for them but suddenly you became invisible. You tried to distract them and grabbed their attention back but it ended up in a nasty fight.
This is how a good friend will react despite every effort they make to be happy for you. I will be jealous when one of my good friends is getting along with a new friend of hers, or when she finally found the love of her life. We will end up fighting for not being able to spare time and listen to each other’s problems but ultimately we will always forgive each other because the fight is not worth losing our relationship.
Thus for me, a true friendship will not be a ride somewhere over the rainbow where every day is sunny and happy is all you will ever be. Troubles will not melt like lemon drops and identical to family relationship it will have its own ups and downs. They will act like your father because they want the absolute best for you. They will act like your mother because they care too much to worry about being hated by you for doing the right thing. They will act like your siblings and be anxious about losing their loved one.
Undeniably, some of you do not have a good relationship with your family, and friends are your refuge. You definitely do not need them to behave the way your family does, but I need to warn you that those friends are not friends for a lifetime. The truth is, if they really care for you and want you to be happy, they will make you understand how important it is to love your family no matter how damaged it is. Therefore, I believe, and you should too, that a good friend who treats you as their family is a best friend.
Nicoline Djohan ( 1,038 words)
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