Undeniably, technology had influenced the culture of dating in more ways than one (Crimaldi, 2009). In this position paper, the author wishes to limit the definition of new technology, in relation to dating practices, to cellular phones, internet, on-line chatting and e-mails. Several points of view were raised as to how technology really changes dating and the formation of relationships. There are persons who view technology as only something that facilitates and assists in the building of relationship but is never its prime mover.
On the other hand, there are also some individuals who actually regard technology as their saving graces in advancing their interest in pursuing a relationship. However, the author resolutely stands to his belief that although technology has its benefits in building connections and relationships, more than anything else, personal touch imbued with sincerity and honesty is important to a healthy and meaningful relationship. A success of a relationship should never rely on technology alone. A healthy relationship must transcend and go beyond what current technology offers. The couple must delve into each other to find profound intimacy.
And this can only be accomplished with something deeper than technological touch. It should have a stronger foundation than that. One might argue that intimacy can also flourish between two strangers even only through online chatting, with perhaps, a webcam on to see each other. However, the main loophole in that idea is this. If that is the case, then why do online chatters who decided to get more serious still made it a point to see each other personally in an “eyeball” and, in fact, do exert effort, time, and money to get personal with the person they are interested in?
The answer boils down to the fact that affectionate touch is a basic human need. And having said this, the author firmly believes that true intimacy can only be genuinely achieved with personal touch. Moreover, the sincerity in the efforts of the couple to communicate and honesty between them are virtues that can never be replaced by any technology. Though there are changes on how people communicate which are brought about by advanced technologies, these advances can only do as much as to facilitate communication.
However, no amount of advanced technology can mimic sincerity and honesty where it is lacking. The importance of these virtues as the determinant of success in relationships can be demonstrated on couples referred by Nicole Crimaldi on her article, “How Technology Changed Dating. ” The couples were having problems because one of them came across something on the internet that is of undesirable value about his or her partner (Crimaldi, 2009). On this basis, the author decided to do away from technology because it would only cause more harm than good.
However, when one accepts this stand, it is imperative that he or she is accepting the big role of technology in changing the dating scenario. Yet, on a more reflective thinking, we should realize that this problem is not caused by the technology, but rather the failure of instilling honesty in the relationship. It has been proven, time and again, that personal qualities of sincerity and honesty are the backbones of relationship to where it should be founded. Undeniably, one of the most basic advantages of technology is the ease at which couples can now communicate with each other.
Technology supersedes the barrier of space that had before separated people from their loved ones. It even makes long-distance relationships easier to bear (Healy, 2009). This fact was never refuted by the author. Surely, they do help. One would say that technology even puts spice and a whole new dimension of sweet complications. However, as per the author’s stand, he believes that technology, as defined by the author earlier in this text is only of minor importance and that a relationship could successfully thrive even without them.
In addition, the mentioned long distance relationships were really not without personal touch. This personal touch was instilled long before the separation and it is actually where the separated couples hang on to. The blood and life of a relationship does not depend on electrically powered gadgets but is rather driven by things money cannot buy – love, respect, honesty, and sincerity, among others. Just like in many things, a person’s values gives character to anything to what he or she does.
Likewise, it can be said with confidence backed up by personal experience that the quality of the relationship a couple has is a product of their joint commitment to each other. It should be emphasized that getting into a relationship is a decision made by two people. You can read that again and focus on the last two words. Relationship is a commitment between two people. It is neither a commitment between a person and his/her cellular phone nor a connection with his/her newly introduced laptop in the market.
Dating and relationship should never be reduced to that. It should be able to flourish just as well as our grandparents’ love lives had been before the advent of the techie gadgets. References Crimaldi, N. (2009, February 12). How technology changed dating. Posted in http://www. brazencareerist. com/2009/02/11/how-technology-changed-dating. Healy, D. (2009, February 12). How technology changed dating (comment). Posted in http://www. brazencareerist. com/2009/02/11/how-technology-changed-dating.