The paper is an analysis of the special interaction between a Noble and a Reflective. The analysis is a process to see how communication styles affect the interaction, and how changing one’s style when communicating with another style can result in different outcomes. This paper illustrates how I adjusted my communication style to adapt my boyfriend’s communication style and how the result changed. The paper addresses the following: 1) A description of the interaction, 2) An analysis the interaction, and 3) Conclusion.
A description of the interaction
The specific interaction I want to demonstrate is the interaction between my boyfriend, Tony, and me. Because we have different communication styles, we sometimes argue and get mad at each other. He is a straight forward person; he tells me right away what I am doing wrong. As a Noble, Tony is very decisive. He likes to be center of every discussion. In contrast, I have a Reflective style; I tend to be quiet. I love spending time alone; I think deeply and do not make decisions quickly.
The following scenario is an illustration of our communication styles. The interaction took place late at night two weeks ago at the Home Depot store where Tony and I went to buy some fixtures for my room. We went inside the store; he grabbed the products he needed quickly, while I took my time looking around. I showed him the light I had chosen and he said, “It is not a night light. Let’s go over another row”. He held my hand and tried to move quickly to another row, but I pushed his hand away and stood in the same area. He went by himself and said, “We have to hurry up, or we can come back tomorrow”. I was very angry, but I did not say anything. Finally, I went to the cashier, and I saw him holding a pretty night light in his hand.
The impact of different communication style
Although he still helped me choose the night light, his behavior made me feel like he was rushing me and did not care about me. He thinks he knows what I want, and he should have asked me what kind of light I needed. If I chose the wrong one, he should have explained what kind of light I needed. He acted as if he needed to make the decision for me because I was taking too long.
An analysis of the interaction
Last week, Tony helped me repaint my room and we went to the Home Depot to purchase colors and painting tools. Tony was very unhappy because I took too long to decide the paints. He also complained why I did not plan ahead of time. In the meantime, I decided to speak out what I was thinking instead of being quiet and doing my own thing. I told Tony that he should have helped me on selecting the paints because the color I wanted was not available and the instruction of choosing and mixing colors in the store was confusing me. I described what kind of color I wished to use for my room and asked him for advice. I also talked to Tony directly that I tried to ignore his offended comments, but those unconscious words irritated me. Tony realized his unintentional attitudes made me upset and he said apologize to me. We both felt like we removed the communication style barrier between us after the frank conversation and we finished shopping and painting my room successfully. I will remind myself to use this method in our future conversations to prevent conflicts and arguments.
Learning the communication styles concept has helped me better understand the way people interact. Each person has a distinct style of communication which has both good and bad aspects. Any miscommunication can cause unexpected outcomes, but if I can adjust or control my communication style, I can predict the result of most interactions. Therefore, I recognize that learning and understanding other styles and applying what I have learned in real life will help to bring good results.
Courtney from Study Moose
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