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Can We Talk Essay

The article Can We Talk? Researcher Talks About the Role of Communication in Happy Marriages” gives us results as related to couples in marriages. In today’s society, many couples are too busy to stop, sit down, and have a meaningful conversation with their significant others. Terri Orbach, research scientist at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, has studied 373 married couples for more than 20 years. We will examine the findings and explore some of the roles of communication in happy marriages.

After reading the text and the required article, I became more aware of what self-disclosure is and how it can affect relationships. Self-disclosure is defined as sharing aspects of yourself with other people. This can be a form of “showing your true colors”. Sharing areas of yourself that may have been misconceived, showing interest in others, and being more involved are ways that you can open up and form close bonds. In marriages, you assume that couples are already in-the-know about their mate. But this sometimes can be a part of a learning process in the relationship.

I can relate to the article because I often find myself at a loss for words. I have been in a few relationships that were on different types of levels; professional, informal and social. Within each of these relationships, there were limited sharing on my part. I would agree that self-disclosure is important in a relationship because it allows you to recognize issues and feelings, and also can help you learn something about self that was unknown. Effective communication promotes a sense of trust, that holds marriages together.

Orbach states that by using her 10-minute rule, couples have a good starting point to reconnect with each other. Just 10 minutes to talk about the interests of your mate, areas of conflict, or even about the job made many marriages happier. Because men and women express themselves differently, gender does have a role in communication in relationships. Many believe that some behaviors are masculine and others are feminine. It is often discouraged for men to cry, they are taught to be strong and heroic, while women are allowed to show emotions openly.


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