I am a country girl, and my mother is a country woman. She and my father are both junior-middle school graduates. Partly because of this, I, as their only daughter, bear their high expectations of me becoming a university graduate. Besides, I think their big hopes on me also come from some historical reasons our neighbor, my grandpa’s younger brother’s family, have been mean to us.
The second family in our neighborhood to build a two-story brick house, they are far better off than us, and most importantly, they have a university-graduated son so, that’s why I must try to bring credit for my family and make them regret having despised us. Where there is high expectation, there is strictness. I have been obedient since in elementary school. At home, I was obedient to my parents and at school to my teacher.
At first, I did well in both Chinese and math, among which my Chinese was better, and this was where the tragedy lay. Besides the homework given by my teachers, there was a great amount of math exercise having asterisk, namely difficult and not required, given by my mother, which she picked from my coach book. Apart from this, I had to practice handwriting for 2 pages on schooldays and 5 on holidays under my mother’s supervision.
All those composed my miserable childhood no playing, no joy, only homework, homework and homework. However, my mother’s efforts didn’t work on me, on the contrary, my math was getting worse and my handwriting was neither neat nor beautiful, because every time I just try hard to finish all the endless homework as quickly as I could, pursuing speed but not quality, so that I could have some poor little time to watch cartoons. At that time, I had a strong adoration for music, especially for singing.
Both my music teacher and my head teacher in elementary school thought that I had gift in singing, and whenever there were occasions needing performance like Children’s Day, National Day etc. and singing contexts at school or in the community, they offered me the chance to show my talent. And I often lived up to their expectations, winning many prizes in singing. That has been a most glorious period in my school life. Whereas, good times don’t last long.
My mother considered my singing a waste of my precious learning time, so she ordered me not to take part in those meaningless things and concentrate on my study. I obeyed and quitted. Now, I am scared of gong KTV and being asked to sing, because after so many years, my talent has abandoned me. For those aforementioned aspects, I hated my mother, because she stripped me of my childhood joy and my singing talent. Although I hated her for those things, I know she loves me and I also love her.
The economic condition of my family is bad, as both my parents are peasants and my grandparents were in bad health condition. Diligent and thrifty, my mother is the one in my family to make budget. Even though we lead a hard life, as for expenses on my schooling, such as buying learning materials, coach books, my mother never hesitates for a second to give me the money. Besides, as long as I am studying, even if reading a novel, in no case would my mother ever ask me to do any housework or work in the fields.
I know, though she never said, that’s because she, believing deeply that knowledge can change one’s destiny, wanted me to acquire as much as knowledge so as to live a happy and easy life in future, rather than repeat her life, all year round working hard in the field while getting little in return. Though she resorted to some inappropriate ways in educating me, it was out of good intention and out of love. In a word, mother’s love is like the sun’s warmth, while daughter is just like grass, such unselfish and devoted kindness, how can grass repay?